As if aging wasn't bad enough on it's own, we are also required to make a yearly pilgrimage to the doctor's office to remind us of a) just how old we are and b) just how old we are.
I had my annual exam last week and oh boy howdy, was that ever fun. I came prepared this time, since I am getting older and more complicated, with my very own list of questions for the doctor.
Should I take calcium?
Should I wear sunscreen?
Is that freckle okay, or is it skin cancer?
Do I need a multi vitamin?
Can teenagers really cause gray hair?
Am I too young for hot flashes?
You know, the usual.
However, before I could even step foot into the exam room, the nurse had to weigh and measure me. Yes, just like one of my children at their well-child check-ups, I kicked off my shoes (they might add a pound) and stood on the scale. Wow! Down 14 pounds since last year. Things aren't going too badly, I thought. Then I took a deep breath, feeling really proud of my weight loss (which could have totally been all water) and stood against the ruler on the wall.
The nurse read my height in centimeters.
I'm really bad at conversions so I had to ask her what that meant in English.
It means you're about 5'4" and 3/4.
Being just a quarter inch from 5'6", I've always referred to myself as being actually 5'6". Now this nurse was telling me that I was a full inch shorter than I was same time last year? My brain felt like it was going to explode. Yes, I know that it's normal for women to shrink and lord knows the women in my family are really good at it.
I'm only 37.
For about another month.
Aren't I too young for this?
And also, I drank my milk and ate my broccoli as a child.
Shouldn't that count for something?
In I went to the exam room to don my paper dress and wait for my doctor. When she finally came in and listened to my concerns over my height, she just laughed.
"How about we measure you again on the way out, and this time stand up really straight." She suggested.
I obliged. I mean, of course that must be it. I must have been slouching.
I was 5'4" and 1/2 on the way out.
Bad news: I'm shrinking.
Good news: My 11 year old thinks it's great that he's only 1 inch behind me...until next week when he's going to be taller than I am.
Have I mentioned how much I love aging?