I took each small pinch of dark, gooey, sticky dough and rolled it into a perfect ball.
Then I rolled them in sugar, sugar, sugar.
And in the end, what I wound up with was a little bit of love (in cookie form) sent from someone who isn't here any longer. She would make the teeniest of the tiny molasses cookies. She bagged them up in small batches - enough to hand out to each of us when we were lucky enough to have her seat filled at my parent's dinner table.
The epitome of divine, she was.
Kind of like these cookies.
A few weeks ago, it was our turn to bring cookies to class. The heavy, somber, intense class that teaches us how to cope/understand/deal with/survive having a family member with mental illness. My husband had signed us up for refreshments and the sweet (vs. the savory) for the evening. I knew immediately that Gramma Dorie's cookies would be what I would make. Just as I don't have to think about breathing, I would be making these cookies for the broken people in our class, hoping that their sweet, spicy flavor and chewy texture would make the hurt, the worry, the confusion go away...even if only for one bite.
Break time comes in the middle of class - usually after a lecture containing words and concepts I've never heard of before and even larger words that I can't pronounce without help. I feel like I'm on an episode of Sesame Street as I sound out the syllables, one by one, then threading them together to make a word - but that's what we do. We learn. We listen. And we deal.
And knowing you aren't the only person on the planet who has been there, helps a lot too.
In a way, Gramma Dorie had that in common with this class we're taking. They both assure. They both educate. And they both let us know that hey, other people go through this stuff too. So I thought it only more appropriate to bring these as my offering, my gift, my thanks to those who have walked this path before me and who listen as I struggle to understand.
It's like molasses.
Sticky and sweet, all at the same time.
And if you can get past the sticky...then the sweet is a nice reward.