Tuesday, March 09, 2010

I'm Changing My Name to Alice

When I was a little girl, I remember my mom being as calm as a cucumber. I'm sure there were moments - and of course this excludes that one time, when I went through puberty - when she got a little edgy. But for the most part, I remember her being somewhat...serene, for a mom.

The kitchen was the hub of our home, like it is with most families. Kids and dogs and cats would run through it several times a day on their way to here or there, and mom would stand, making her homemade yogurt or applesauce, as if there wasn't the slightest bit of chaos surrounding her.


I would yell out "Mom!" from the other end of the house with a question (probably about a very important missing leg warmer or something) and she'd say, without raising her voice one teeny bit, "I'm in here, if you'd like to talk to me."

And she never had to repeat herself.

She only had to say it once.


I'd go to the kitchen with my very important question and ask her face to face.

Just like my childhood, our kitchen (despite it's tinyness) is the hub of our home. It's where plans are made, meals are made and evil plots are developed. It's where the dishes and the dancing happen. It's the center of our universe and not a day goes by that I don't find myself there for large chunks of the day doing something important...even if I'm not making yogurt.

Because of the layout of our house, you can hear just about everything from the kitchen - but don't tell my kids that. I'll let that little morsel of knowledge come to them in due time, when they can figure it out for themselves.

Anyway, because I'm always in the kitchen and because the kids always need something it isn't odd to hear "Mom!" more than a few times a day. Normally, I give them a pass for the first few times, but after about 10 or so, I start to unravel, my eyes start bulging and the hair stands up on the back of my neck each time I hear "Mom!" And so help me baby Jesus, if I hear it one more time I just may walk out the front door never to return.

A girl can dream, right?

So I've come up with a solution.

I'm changing my name to Alice.

That way, when they call out "Mom!" I won't have to answer.


Kendra said...

Beautiful plan. My mom still likes to tell the story of when we were little, my dad was out of town for the bazillionth time that year, and she was trying to get all three kids to bed. She got my sister the last glass of water, the last trip to the potty, the last story, and then explained that she was done being "Mommy" for the night. The kids were going to bed, and she was going to go be "Peggy" for a while, okay? My sister, about 3 or 4 at the time, agreed, and my mom left. After a moment, the inevitable call came from her room: "Hey, Peg!"

I still laugh at that one almost daily.


Hey Alice, let's hook up soooon!!! John and Brenda

Kyla said...

LOL! Good plan! I tell my kids to come and find me, too...but sometimes they are too busy repeatedly yelling "Mom! Mom! Moooom!" to hear my little reminder.

Anonymous said...

Serene? Moi?



jennyonthespot said...

Dude. Yes. My 5 yr old: Mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom ....


alice c said...

You change your name to Alice, honey. It is a very cool gang and I cn understand why you want to join it!