Friday, August 01, 2008

Trust

The walk-in clinic doctor said it was diverticulitis.

My general practitioner said I needed to add more fiber to my diet, drink more water.

Upon first visit, my OB/Gyn said that I needed a hysterectomy.

"I'm only 27."

Upon second visit, my OB/Gyn said we could treat my symptoms with anti-depressants (they mask pain), hormone therapy (induced menopause) or laparoscopic surgery.

Hormones were out of the question, messing with my hormones messes with my migraines and they are bad enough on their own. Anti-depressants to "mask" the pain didn't feel like the right option either, since pain is the body's way of alerting you when something is wrong. I wasn't about to have a hysterectomy at 27 for the pain, unless I absolutely had to, so I opted for the laparoscopic surgery.

"When you wake up, you'll have either one tiny incision in your belly button, or more on your abdomen, depending on what I find in there," he said.

"I trust you."

This was the doctor who had delivered my first baby. He had been with me throughout the past two years, another pregnancy and now . . . this.

Coming out of the anesthesia fog and looking down to see only a little bandage covering the incision on my iodine-stained belly button, I was relieved. I still have a chance, was the first and the last thing I thought before closing my eyes again.

A few days later at my post-op visit, my doctor pulled my husband aside and said, "Imagine tying a rubber band from your big toe to your testicles." Brett's face was horrified. "Now, imagine walking."

The scar tissue from my c-section with my first baby had created an internal bridge from one of my ovaries to my uterus. I found the photos the other day, the scar tissue's tentacle-like arm reaching out from one organ to the other . . . choking it.

Every time I think about it, I am uneasy. Uneasy because it took visiting three doctors to diagnose me. Uneasy because I was given the option to have a hysterectomy for something, in hindsight, that could have responded to other treatment. Uneasy because had I had that hysterectomy . . . I can't go there.

Sometimes we just have to trust that the right decisions are going to be made - by ourselves and our doctors.

And sometimes, that is damn hard to do.

19 comments:

Susan said...

Wow, that is quite a story. Sounds really painful. Glad you have a doctor you can trust and that you were strong enough to put your faith in him to do the right thing by you.

Valarie said...

That must have been awful to have to deal with.

I am going through a totally differnt trust issue. One where it involves work and just letting go and letting God handle it for me. I know his outcome will be better than mine.

flutter said...

Oh girl, i am so glad you are here and healthy

OHmommy said...

Wow. Can you imagine.

I am so glad everything is okay. Geesh... can you imagine?

Grim Reality Girl said...

Ugh. I'm glad all is well and that you are fine. I know what it is to fear and have to trust....

mamikaze said...

Wow. Another example of how medicine is not a true science. I am glad that it all worked out for you.

Wendy said...

Wow, that is scary. Why do doctors act so smart and yet seem to know so little? I'm glad our technology is improving, at least!

Julienne said...

That is so amazing and I'm glad everything turned out well for you. I went through 6 years of doctor's giving up and telling me "it's in your head" to find out one doctor and get a diagnosis on my first visit! It doesn't have a cure, but it doesn't kill me either and naming my enemy made all the difference in the world!

Stacey @Real World Mom said...

Wow... How incredibly scary! Lots of big (but gentle!) hugs to you!

LindaJ said...

Way to go, now everyone thinks you are 27.

Maybe next time the hubbies are acting up we can remind them of the rubberband thingy.

XOXO

carrie said...

No, no, no!

This happened in 2000 - 8 years ago.

Although, being 27 again wouldn't be *that* bad.

Christy said...

The 'what could have happened' thoughts are the worst...it's scary. I'm happy to know you found the right answer.

Carol said...

Oh to be 27 again!

Crazy, so glad you didn't end up with the hysterectomy.

That crazy scar tissue trying to strangle your ovary.

Kyla said...

Wow. I'm glad they fixed you up.

This is why it is so important to find trustworthy doctors who take the time to care.

Huckdoll said...

Crazy. I'm just shocked at the spectrum of diagnosis you received.

And I'm sorry....but antidepressants to mask pain?? That's just wrong on so many levels.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm glad it worked out; finding a doctor you trust is really key.

slouching mom said...

oh, sweetheart. i'm sorry that happened to you, but i am grateful that it resolved in just the way it did.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

Thank Goodness that you trusted yourself enough to say no. It is hard to do that. The whole thing IS SCARY. Problems that they can't/won't/are blowing off too easily are scary. (Especially when they are your woman parts.) Way to go reminding us of trusting ourselves, and our bodies.

Sandy C. said...

Wow. I am so glad that everything worked out. I just cannot even imagine.