Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The Three B's
Yesterday was to be a record breaker here in the Northwest. The boys were anticipating 85 degree weather before they went to bed Sunday night. They had a plan: they were going to go swimming after school, it was to be awesome!!! (their words)
The mercury rises (not to 85 but acceptable swimming temp), boys scramble home and off we go to Grammie and Grandpa's (two miles away) to enjoy the lake. I have to admit, there is something about just being near the water that instantly cools me off. I could swear that it is a good ten degrees cooler than at our house.
So, the adults are enjoying libations, kids are swimming and Katie and the dog are having a lot of fun with the hose . . . boys begin the screamfest. Pushing occurs, injuries happen and a cooling off period is given by Daddy.
My parents' friends/neighbors are over, enjoying the "happy hour" with us. Mind you, I used to babysit for them and I have intimate knowledge of their children. Here I sit in the company of two seasoned professionals, they ARE Grandmothers for goodness sake, surely they can enlighten me on this whole fighting thing the boys are in the middle of.
Guess what? They don't remember. Come on ladies, throw me a bone. I know for a fact that I fought with my brother (I instigated 90% of it). I also know that those kids I babysat for fought also (one older sister and two younger boys - of course they fought). They don't remember.
Is it like childbirth? The joys far outweigh the agonies and after a little time goes by you forget the pain? If so, when will that happen to me? I want to forget, like, yesterday!!!!
Fighting has got to be my #1 complaint with my kids. I can stay pretty calm about lots of other bad behaviors; however the fighting gets me every time. The parent educator at Katie's preschool always gives us a handout regarding the topic of the week. I have the "When Kids Fight" one stuck to the side of my refigerator. I often find myself standing there staring at it in a daze, humming to myself and trying to picture my "happy place" while the boys are arguing. I try to pick a strategy that works, but this seems impossible at times.
The handout states "Three B's For Normal Bickering", they are:
1. Bear It. Don't react. Think about something else
(like sending them to military school?)
2. Beat It. If the fighting is bothering you, leave the room.
(I don't care if you have a 10,000 sq. ft. house, you would hear these two)
3. Boot 'em Out. If it is not convenient for you to leave, tell them to take it elsewhere.
(hello? They aren't old enough to leave or I would've done that already)
I think I will take this off my refrigerator and recycle it. Maybe putting on a little Norah Jones would be a better idea. Now, where did I put my copy of Siblings Without Rivalry?
Posted by carrie