Everybody makes fun of minivans. Everybody.
For as long as I can remember I've heard the phrase, "No vans, no wagons, no way," fly out of the mouths of fellow mothers just as quickly as "Put that down, you'll hurt yourself," and "Stop hitting your brother." Oh yes, the minivan statement is plentiful and very alive to this day amongst many a parental unit.
But...what is it about minivans?
Is it that they scream PARENT?
Is it that they are boxy?
Is it because they have ten thousand cup holders?
What is the big deal?
I mean, obviously, you're a parent - unless you're trying to pass off that gaggle of children following you around (one attached by a leash even) the local Shop-n-Save as someone elses. Clearly, parenthood is your gig so why all the disdain for the vehicle who's sole purpose in life is to make yours easier?
I don't get it.
Would you rather drive a Corvette?
Is that it?
Lamenting about misspent youth perhaps?
Or do you just want to be "cool?"
Unfortunately, I don't drive a minivan. But I totally would. I see no shame in it. I have no issues with their appearance or configuration - I mean, have you seen how many ways you can re-arrange the seats in a minivan? Don't get me wrong, I love the car I drive and am especially fond of the shelf in the back behind the 3rd row of seats upon which I can load my groceries, but it ain't no minivan.
There aren't enough cup holders to put it into that category.
I suppose there are downfalls to driving a minivan, but who can complain about driving a car you can actually sleep in if you had to? I mean, it seems like a no-brainer. It reminds me of being able to drive around in one of those Volkswagon Eurovans...but without the extra camping stuff or the expandable roof - but have you seen how many skylights some of those mini vans have? It's mesmerizing...
Maybe they aren't so good in the snow?
Well, neither was the Mazda 323 that I drove in college and into the first few years of motherhood, but it never bothered me. Not like I was driving my babies around off road in the snow or anything like that.
So what is it about minivans that turns people off?
We've all seen that Toyota commercial where the mom is trying to act as unmomlike as possible (to impress a couple of cops on motorcycles...what is she thinking?) and then leaves her diaper bag on the top of her...wait for it...minivan. But I still don't get it. Are we that concerned with appearing to be childless that we'll do anything to make it appear so?
Or do we just want to drive a cool car?
I just can't decide what it is, America.
But I do know one thing. I wouldn't turn one down, in fact I get envious whenever I pull up behind one at a stoplight and see how many car seats fit easily in it's passenger spaces, not to mention all the compartments to stow things (TOYS) away in. Even though my babies are past the car seat stage (well, 2 of them are, 1 is still booster-bound), it would be nice to have all that room for everything else (kid shrapnel) that seems to find it's way into my vehicle. And not have to drive a suburban assault vehicle like so many (a'hem) other people do.
I think I'm just in love with minivans because they scream MOTHERHOOD like no other car. And while yes, it's nice to be mistaken for a young, single hottie (like that ever happens) once in awhile, I have no shame admitting that yeah, those are my kids - even when they're running like mad people through the local Target.
Motherhood, it's priceless.