Yes, that's right - I can barely figure out how to turn off my husband's iPod, let alone deal with my computer if it decides to go haywire. And texting on my cell phone? Out of the question.
But I do make exceptions, from time to time.
I was brushing my teeth when I heard the familiar bleepity bleep bleep coming from the direction of my purse.
"What now?" I thought to myself as I dug around in the black hole, trying to locate my cell phone.
Finally, I found it and hoisted it out of it's early grave in the bottom of my purse, next to spilled tic tacs and all the loose change I'd accumulated over the past year. I slid it open and by some miracle, was able to figure out how to check my inbox for new messages.
I had 1.
"From Ellie," it said.
Hi Aunt Carrie. I miss you. I love you so much. You are a great Aunt.
I wrote her back telling her that I loved her to, and to have a great time on her vacation in Mexico.
And then I heard that little bleepity bleep bleep again.
We are going to swim with the dolphins, stay at a hotil (hotel), ride the kwod (quad).
And I smiled ear to ear, picturing Ellie, blazing through the Mexican desert on her 4-wheeler. Fearless, is what she is.
I told her I wanted to hear all about it when she got home from her trip. And then she sent me a picture of her pedicure, with tiny hibiscus flowers painted on her toes.
Um, can I just say...how cute is that?
Ellie is imprinted on my soul, attached to my very being. Even though she's only been a part of my extended "family" for a few years, it's as if she's been there forever. Her happiness is my happiness. Her pain is my pain. Just like my own kids, I want only the best for her (and her brother and sister too, of course). And just like it's hard to explain motherhood to someone who hasn't yet experienced it yet, the way I feel about her is the way I feel when I look at my own kids - like we belong together.
Having her family move far away from us has been hard for me. I miss all of them in so many ways. I miss my friend because she knows me inside and out and I can always count on her no matter what and vice versa (plus, um, we know how to have a good time and make eachother laugh). I miss her husband because he is my husbands closest friend and I hate that so many miles separate us. I miss their son because he is, like his sisters, a son to me and a buddy and brother to my boys. I miss their youngest daughter because she is my daughters bestest buddy in the world - she was lost without her before she came home from China. And I miss Ellie because when I see her smile, the whole world is right.
In the shadow of her bravery and strength, she can make even the darkest say seem bright.
She's my soul sister.
I don't want to miss a single thing she does.
And so, even though I protest texting on just about every other level, I'm really grateful that I can muster up enough brainpower to figure it out, and I'm pretty darn lucky to get texts from such an amazing ten year old girl.
There may be hope for me yet.
You can read Ellie's story HERE