Back to school, you are on notice.
Yes you, I'm talking to you. (Said in my best Different Strokes voice)
Thing is, I am pretty sure (scratch that, make it one hundred and eleventy billion percent sure) that my kids are some of the last children on the planet to partake in the whole "back to school" event. Unlike my friends elsewhere in the country (those who live in locations which actually take pity on parents and have the kids back to school the first week of August).
Because they have nearly 3 whole weeks left of school, do you know how many days I've had to hear:
"Do we have our school supplies?"
"Can I get a new lunch box?"
"I need a new ruler!"
"Mom...my shoes, I need new shoes before school starts, and a new hat, and a new parka (because it's so blustery in August!), and a new pair of gloves, and, and, and..."
It's all your fault, back to school.
It's bad enough that stores start sending out fliers advertising "back to school" savings before school actually lets out for the summer. I mean, come on, do we really need to be thinking about how many colored pencils or pee chee's our kids will need before they've even set foot in a kiddie pool, splashed on a Slip n' Slide or ran through one measly sprinkler? Before they've stared at the starry night sky or counted blades of grass on a boring summer day?
I started getting advertisements for all the latest back to school fashions in July. What did I do with the mountains of glossy ads depicting seemingly happy children wearing the latest Hannah Montana garb and sporting shiny new back to school haircuts? Used them as kindling, of course, to make a decent campfire in the fire pit. Mmmmmm...those s'mores were tasty! Kind of, I don't know, back to schooley.
You'd think that after July those advertisers would get the hint, but no. They just keep on filling my newspapers with the ads and splashing even more back to schoolness all over the television. My kids can't even enjoy an episode of Spongebob Squarepants without being reminded of their impending doom, the arrival of back to school and the end of summer vacation.
All I am asking is that you lay off a bit. We (most of us anyway) are all adults. We know, down to the day in fact, just how long summer is. We (most of us anyway) try to fill our children's summer days with activities, trips to the beach, camping, and sleepovers. What we do not need, breathing down our throats, is a reminder of the end of this time with our children home.
Much to our surprise, even though we may complain that we can't get through the day without our favorite summer drink (that being a spiked lemonade and I would also be kidding about the regularity of which those were actually consumed, I'm all talk and no action) and we just can't wait for summer to o-v-e-r, we do want our kids to enjoy themselves. We really do.
And that is a little difficult with "back to school" peering at us around every corner we turn.
So you, yes you back to school, I'm putting you on notice. Back off.
We still have some swimming and sprinkler running to do.