Thursday, October 23, 2008

I Can't Find My Words

Have you seen them, my words?

The words that swirl like the waters in a gigantic rushing tide in my head begging, screaming, shouting to be let out before they expire like the carton of milk in the back of my refrigerator with the pull date of October 1st?

Yes, those are the ones.

I could tell you about the chicken and dumplings I made for dinner last night (bland diet, baby), about how the kids were relishing in my screams every time they told me John McCain should be president (they have really, really sick senses of humor and know when to strike when I'm vulnerable), about how much bleach was used in our home during the last 8 days . . .

I could tell you about the other day, when Wyatt burst from his room, cheeks flaming red, droplets of sweat forming on his brow and barely able to breathe.

"Mom," he said, suddenly very seriously and with intent, "we are having so much fun in my room. I can't tell you what we're doing, but it involves silly putty and ducking."

[No two words were more frightening to a mother's ears]

And then he disappeared behind his closed door and howls of laughter and thumping were heard.

Brett and I looked at each other in one of those "did I just hear that?" moments and I, not wanting to lose my one chance to run to the store and fetch my husband yet more orange Gatorade, said, "they're all yours," and promptly ran out the front door.

I could tell you how time consuming it is to keep abreast of all the local news stories involving my husband's E. Coli poisoning, how following thread after thread after thread of information will not only scare the pants off a person, but can, literally, take over your life. Thankfully I realized this before it was too late and I can finally stop singing that Eric Clapton song Can't Find My Way Home in my head when I turn on the computer.

I just can't find my words.

I want to tell you about the funny. I want to tell you about how my husband thought I was talking to him a minute ago instead of my "other husband," (and no, he hasn't had his pain meds yet) the misbehaving washing machine, but you're probably growing tired of hearing me complain about that. To add insult to injury, I found an OFFER! to test a brand new Samsung washer and dryer set (a $2,400 value!) in my inbox today (participation is required) and it was all I could do not to click on the link, forever branding my email address as belonging to one of those stupid, lame-o people who really do think they can get something for nothing.

Yeah. not. gonna. do. it.

There was also a message from my colon.

I ignored that one too.

So yes, my words - I hear you, I do. But I am just too tired to let you out right now. Let's just say that you're in a bear, okay? You're in hibernation and it won't last long and in the meantime, enjoy the rest. Got that, words? Did you hear me? Hello?

To tide the rest of you over, here's a oldie (oh, how it pains me to refer to it as such) by The Cure (melancholy of all melancholy) that I heard on my way back from buying orange Gatorade. I drove past our street and around the block just so I could listen to the whole thing. The original video isn't available to share, but you can click here if you want to see it in all it's glory.

In Between Days - I think this version is nice:


Anonymous said...

Hang in there. The words will come!

LindaJ said...

Sorry for the silly putty. I just want you to know that It was in many forms here at my house...Some of them which had to be stopped.

Sometimes there are just no words. And that is Okay!


Anonymous said...

Well, mi hija, for someone at a loss for words... you certainly expressed yourself well!

Made me smile. A lot.


Kellan said...

I loved "these" words - you found them just fine! Hope your husband is continuing to recover - how scary!

Take care - Kellan

wyliekat said...

Every blogger loses their words from time to time. It's just such an ebb and flow, this medium. You need to retire from it from time to time in order to replenish.

flutter said...

seems to me that these were pretty good words, love

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It sounds live everything is looking better. Sometimes the Internet provides TMI. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Momisodes said...

I think you found them just fine. You always do :)

Hoping your hubby is doing alright. No more Googling it, K?

Ann(ie) said...

I followed you just fine, girlie. And my hubby does that McCain thing to watch me scream too. meanie. =/

Laura said...

You know you're in good shape if you use words to express how you don't have the words. Thanks for the song, too.

Kyla said...

My mom banned Silly Putty when I was a kid, maybe for the same reason, I'll never tell. ;)

Your words will come back, once life calms to a comfortable pace. Sometimes the build up of too much to say makes it impossible to get anything out! Thus, blogstipation.

Christy said...

That first paragraph was especially brilliant. I get it. Sometime the words are harder to come by, eh?

Mrs. Tantrum said...

Um, don't you know you aren't supposed to google/webmd etc any serious ailments? It will only make you second in line (behind me) for a one way ticket to Santa Rosa Mental Institution with Hurly!

I hope that your man is feeling better. Mr. T has had the ecoli twice from our Mexican adventures...and it WAS scarier than shit...oh, wait that was a bad choice of words. When he started to get all funny though I knew that meant that he was feeling better..and would chant the Bevis and Butthead standby around here "Diarrhea cha cha cha"

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