Saturday, August 30, 2008

Kids Fighting? Bring out the Obama!

We are officially at t-4 days until the first day of school over here at Casa de Screaming Kids.

That means, of course, that after a long and glorious summer filled with togetherness and collaborative efforts to see who can irritate their sibling the most, our time is finally coming to an end. Our days of banging on our older brother's door when he's having the required alone time needed by a person entering middle school are almost over. Our days of riding on our sister's heels while we scooter around the patio until she has completely lost her mind are dwindling. Our days of telling our brother that he farts entirely too much for a human are past their prime.

Yes, friends, it is almost over.

So when I heard the usual screaming coming from the garage, where the kids were playing because it was raining outside and we are classy like that, I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Just another day in paradise," before grabbing my vodka tonic and inspecting the situation.

No, I really wasn't drinking this morning, but it makes for a nice visual.

"He's pushing me!" She screamed.

"She's annoying me!" He screamed.

"They're driving me crazy!" They all screamed together.

Instead of sending them in opposite directions to cool off in their rooms I came up with this:

"Who wants to watch Barack Obama's acceptance speech with me on the computer?"

And they all raised their hands.

That, my friends, is how the west was won.

So now you know who I will be voting for on November 4th, and you know exactly why. Any questions?


Chelle said...

That is too funny!

I am glad Obama could make peace in your home for you....and hope you are able to drink that vodka tonic now, friend.

Scout's Honor said...


woman, yer doing it all wrong. :)

Heh! I told my kids they had to do all their chores for the whole week today since they'd been fighting and not doing chores all week. A FEW hours later, Eldest asks if he can watch tv. I say only if everybody had finished their chores, cinder-spawn. He pops his head in a few minutes later and asks, "Can I please, please, please help Li'l Man with his chores?" Wuh. Um, sure? He shrieks, "Yes!" You'd think I was saying we were being transported to Disneyland. So, suddenly, no fighting, everybody's working together, and then grateful li'l butts are planted in front of Disney Channel with no fighting.

3. So, see, no need to get crazy and vote for Obama, m'kay? World Peace starts at home with a firm hand, chore chart, reverse psychology, with a side of Miley Cyrus and "Phineas & Ferb."

4. As for Mommy peace and my major PMS, my husband went hither to buy steaks 'cause "I'm bleeding" and he wishes "I would stop moping," so the drink of the day will be gin.

I swear I didn't marry a caveman. We all know he's usually a metrosexual, but my PMS is making him lose his farking mind. I've only yelled and pouted five times today and said no to leaving the house twice to go hiking or for a walk since I always want to go places with no bathrooms when I have massive cramps on my monster period... Arrrrgh!

Christy said...

That's funny--I'll have to remember that one & try it on my kids. Maybe if Obama can bring peace to a few of our households, he might actually have a chance at straightening the rest of the country out!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I seriously heart that speech.

Maybe he really can effect change?!

flutter said...

I love you, you know, so don't kill me when I say this...but I am really having a hard time drinking the Obama kool-aid.

This election and I are not friends

LindaJ said...

T-4 and counting. I cannot keep drinking this much or I will be in rehab when the kids are in school.

Kyla said...

Hahahaha! That's funny!

Anonymous said...

HEY. I have the entire speech on tape.. just in case.


aka: Member of the ORIGINAL, and I mean original, Hillary Clinton Fan Club. Way back when she was a major threat because she was 1) educated 2) had something to say and wanted to say it and 3) thought that maybe, just maybe, the "First Lady" could be more than a hostess?.

Nothing wrong with those cookies. But really. What a waste of talent if we stop there. Any of us.

Anyway, you sent in your dollar or two & got a bunch of buttons.

No, I don't want my own blog Honest.

Ann(ie) said...

Okay, first of all: I lurve you!!!!!! And second of all: OUR mama's would so be BFF's. I kid you not. xo.

mamikaze said...

That is brilliant! I wonder what would spur mine to get her chores done?
"Clean up your room or you will have to watch Cindy McCain's 'I love America' talk."

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I may make my kids watch it as a punishment for fighting! (hee-hee)

Julienne said...

Today is Blog Day 2008 and a lot of us are posting links to, and descriptions of our 5 favorite blogs on our own sites. I wanted to let you know that you are on my list! If you want to read what I wrote about you, or participate in the event, head on over to my blog entry about it!

Whit said...

I made my kids watch the speech. They have a strict cartoon only policy, but I wanted them to have the moment under their belt whether they remember it or not.

Manager Mom said...

OK- that MIGHT just have sealed my vote!

jen said...

amen! (you are hilarious)