Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The Lowest of the Lows

It is no secret that I am not a perfect parent.

I've let kids watch way too much tv. I've let them stay up late playing catch outside (when it's not raining, mind you, I do have regard for their general health, and the impact that playing in the rain will garner - like a heap load of wet clothing and kids who need to be bathed, again). I've let them eat candy, watch the occasional PG-13 movie (egad!), drink soda, burp, fart and make other weird sounds with their armpits without complaining (too much).

Yes, I may want to be perfect, but I am failing - miserably.

Case in point, last Saturday night.

After spending a day running around like a chicken with her head cut off, I was looking forward to an evening of rest. An evening with nothing to do other than try to tune out the sounds of the Alvin and the Chipmunks that was coming from the television as my zombie-eyed kids soaked the whole horrible movie in. After all, they had just spent the better part of the day participating in team sports, individual sports and supporting each other at each - they deserved a little down time too.

All day, I'd been watching my oldest struggle with the mop, formerly known as his adorable blonde hair, on his head that had grown a mind of it's own overnight.

He fiddled with the curls forming behind his ears.

He pulled down the long pieces that were hanging at the nape of his neck.

He flipped the front out of his eyes.

He stroked the mass of boy hair and ran his fingers through it more times than necessary.

I had had enough.

"How about a haircut tonight?" I asked him

"No," was his curt reply.

"Come on," I pleaded.

"No," was his curt reply.

He then began to tell me his plan. How he had this plan for the last few months and he was going to stick to it. There was nothing I could do to talk him out of it. He would cut his hair on the last day of school and that was final! Did you hear me? That was final! No hair-cutting going to be happening in this house, not to his hair. No way. No how. No.

"How about I pay you?" I pleaded.

"How much?" He inquired.

"Two bucks," was my first offer.

"Six," was his counter offer.

"Five, and no more!"

"Okay."

I can't believe I actually paid my 11-year-old to cut his hair.

16 comments:

jen said...

ok, a. I love the new look. the new title is perfect.

b. you are the best kind of mama. bribes rock.

jennyonthespot said...

You have taught your son a valuable lesson - the art of negotiation! Plus, ultimately, you got your way! I think you could be a genius :)

Indy said...

A moms gotta do what a moms gotta do. I'd pay too! You are both happy with the outcome! I let my kids watch way too much tv too!

Kyla said...

I say $5 is cheap for a nice looking kid. LOL!

Family Adventure said...

I would pay my 11 yr old 5 dollars to cut his hair in a heartbeat. I'm so tired of watching his hair cover his eyes, it drives me crazy. But he thinks it's cool....agh. Teenageritis is upon us.

Heidi

PinksandBluesGirls said...

You're my hero. So that's how you do it. I'm going to try that with my 3 year old... I call his hair "hockey hair"... !! You crack me up! I love this.
Best,
Audrey

Domestic Spaz said...

$5? What a steal!

Yesterday my 4 year old asked for milk. Knowing I only had enough milk to get through the next morning's breakfast cereal I said "No, how about some root beer instead?"

How's that for a bad mom moment?

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

It happens!

And new name!!! Let's talk banner!

LindaJ said...

I pay 2 bucks fort my kids to walk on my back, 3 bucks to scoop dog poop, and 1 buck to check the mail. Cheap child labor at it's finest.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

That isn't that bad! Being perfect is no fun at all. Just be a real mom! :-)

Cathy said...

I would sooooo do that if I thought my stepson would agree.

Mamacita Tina said...

$5, a bargain! But look out next time, he may up it to $10. Kids are smart that way.

Daily Mish Mash said...

I bribe my kids all the time. Is there another way to get them to do what you want them to do?

I sat through the whole Chipmunks movie last weekend and it wasn't that bad.

Isabel said...

Hey...whatever works.

I remember my first husband telling me his great grandma used to pay him to let her cut his hair. She just liked to cut hair.

Bananas said...

Hey, whatever it takes!!

An Ordinary Mom said...

$5 sounds like a steal of a deal to me!

And perfect parents? Nope, don't exist ... but there are a lot of good parents out there including you!

Love the new look and title over here!