I know we just had an intimate experience in pimple removal last month, but I really don't want to see you again, in that way.
Sure, you probably enjoyed all that extra attention in the bathroom mirror. You probably enjoyed all that massaging too, but it's over!
I can tell that you're trying to win me back. I can see the signals everywhere and I'm no dummy.
Please, stop calling me.
And texting me.
And emailing me.
I've had other relationships like this before, although not in a very long time; and I'm just not willing to go down that path again. So if you could kindly keep those pores clean and free from that clogging oil that causes pimples, that'd be great.
And you never know, maybe someday we will have a future. Like, maybe when I'm going through menopause. But I'm too young for that now, so back off.
I'm going to do everything I can to keep that little bump I feel from forming into anything other than it already is, including taking all the advice from my wonderful friends who have armed me with the best defensive tactics for avoiding you. They have my back, and if I were you, I'd pay close attention.
Until we meet again (and it had better be in my 40's!),