Thursday, September 13, 2007

Icky Poo

"Oh jesus, get it away from him," I said the first night we brought Roy home.

"What's the big deal?" Brett was mocking, yes that's right MOCKING me like I'd just suggested he bathe with Velveeta cheese or something and then go lookin' for bears in the woods.

We had taken our baby dog outside to go potty (he is, by the way, pottying in only one area of the yard - therefore killing only a small portion of the greenness that used to be our grass) before taking him upstairs to sleep for the night.

It may be because I haven't spent much time on my patio in the dark hours, but I haven't ever been aware that we had any sort of a slug problem, until now. It wouldn't be so bad if they were like the cute animated slugs singing Scissor Sisters in the movie Flushed Away, but they aren't. Far from it!

There were slugs everywhere! Slimy, gross and disgusting little fake snakes winding their bodies all over my dog's water dish, with more looking like they were coming in for a drink from the grass that surrounds the patio - like a crowd at a concert or a Las Vegas breakfast buffet.

"Here, over here, free puppy water for all! Hurry while supplies last!"

It isn't as if I'd left something wonderful, like puppy food, a pig's ear or half-chewed Nylabone, out to attract the little buggers. They just came. They came and they invaded Roy's water dish.

So of course little Roy was completely obsessed with the slugs. He probably hadn't seen any in the barn formerly known as his home before and they were new, exciting, interesting in some sort of sick, twisted way. But when he started to sniff them a little too closely and then lick them, I'd had enough. I did not want my puppy, my precious new little guy, to eat a slug and there was nothing I could do to deter him. I don't think a bacon-wrapped pound of cheddar would have diverted his attention from the slugs.

Brett assured me that the slugs wouldn't harm our dog.

He said all his dogs used to eat them.

He told me I was over reacting.

Well, have I got news for him.

Today, picking up the puppy poop in the backyard, I bent down to retrieve one of our doggies little presents and what do I see before me?

A slug.

Well, sort of.

A slug that has been passed through a dog.

Good thing Roy is so cute. Because if he wasn't, I'd be inquiring about a return policy right about now.

EXTRA! EXTRA!

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10 comments:

Not The Mama said...

Ewww. An undigested slug is bad enough, but that is awful. Good thing he is so freaking cute. And I don't get slugs at all. I had a minor infestion of them once at my old house and there didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why they decided to come in and chill in my dining room where there was no food, water, etc. They never tried to make a break for the kitchen or anything.

Kyla said...

Yuck!! And he is SO cute.

Mrs Pushy said...

Roy is too cute, holding his little hamburger. And a more desirable snack than slugs, even if it is plastic!

Kristin said...

Blech! So far, the worst I have had to deal with is undigested crayons and food wrappers!

He is cute though, I'll give the little slug pooper that...

Mrs. Chicken said...

wow... that is just ... wow.

My mom's current dog used to eat its own poop and then throw it up. Keep that in mind if you ever need to clear a room, like really, REALLY fast.

alice c said...

If eating slugs is the worst thing that he ever does you will have found yourself a little treasure.

One of my dogs ate half a birthday cake.

Pinks & Blues said...

Roy is adorable... but - oh man, yucka!! I must say, if he wasn't so damn cute... and I wasn't a total sucker for dogs... I would be grossed out. But not with ROY! Thanks for sharing!
- Audrey

Ann(ie) said...

He's so dang cute, but ewwwwwwwwwww!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Oh. MY. GOD.

painted maypole said...

yuck