Tuesday, December 20, 2011
It's Only Monday
I smoothed her creased forehead, her arms practically strangling my neck during the nightly ritual of putting her to bed. I don't mind the not being able to breathe momentarily while she clings to me, just one more hug mama. But it's the breaking away that becomes so difficult, especially during this time of year when all I can think about is getting them all to bed so I can bake and wrap and do all the things that busy people everywhere are doing to get ready for the holidays, which seems like an endless (but fulfilling when you collapse to bed after midnight 10 days in a row) chore.
I love Christmas.
I love the closeness we all feel, even if sometimes I get a tad bit claustrophobic from the togetherness. I love the tree, lit up, glowing in the window while the outside blankets itself in frost for the night. I love the stockings hanging over the fire, the candles lit and a few kiddos playing a board game on the floor. I love the cookies and the treats and the libations. I love it all.
But I'd be lying if I said it was easy.
No matter how much I plan ahead, how prepared I think I am or how ready the house looks, I am a complete mess during this time of year. How do I get it all done? How do I keep my kids from fighting everyday? How do I make sure I didn't forget anyone on my list? How do I keep my sanity?
Nighttime has and always will be my soft place to land. I pry her fingers from my neck one by one, reminding her that yes she does really have almost 2 whole weeks of Christmas vacation left and yes it's only Monday, I promise. I sprinkle her forehead with no less than 10 sprinkles for sweet dreams, refresh her ice water and tuck her and her monkey in under the soft comforter. Then and only then is it time to get to work on the things that seem impossible to do during the day.
And it's like this every day until Christmas. The constant busy.
While I feel incredibly blessed to have wonderful family and friends to share holiday memories with, I wish there was a way I could not make it all feel so...so...much. I wish I knew how to give myself peace, everyday, so I could pass that along to my kids, instead of the frenzied mess of a mom I feel like. And it's only Monday...
Posted by carrie