Just as the rain that came this morning quickly washed away any last vestiges of summer, I too feel snuffed out by the weather. Not that I am unwelcome to fall, quite the contrary - it is my favorite time of the year only occasionally trumped by it's friend spring - but the rain, it bogs me down, sucks the energy and makes me feel about as inspired and creative as a rock.
I've got to do something to fix that.
Waking up to the tinkling sound of raindrops on the roof makes me want to crawl further, further, further under the bedding which comforts my body...now out of the pain I'd been fighting with for the past few months. All that physical therapy is paying off and instead of jumping for joy (not advised at this time) I want to relish in the simple act of being able to read a book in bed without pain. Ah, it's the little things, no?
The looming start of school has the kids frenzied, frazzled (or is that me?) and fanatically asking me every live long day when we're going to finish school shopping.
"In time," I tell them. "In time. Trust me, you'll have everything you need before the first day."
And off they go to tackle each other and whip the dog into a wild mass of flying hair and slobber upon the sofa cushions that I had just laundered.
The days will be shorter, they have in fact already begun to do so. Long shadows take the place of short intense ones and the leaves on the trees flanking our driveway are already starting to get flecks of bright orange on them. It's coming.
When I see the pile of apples in the crisper drawer of my refrigerator all I can think about is pork chops.
I want to can. I want to preserve. I want to put up.
But first things first. Haircuts. Two are done, one is undecided - although if his sideburns get any more scraggly looking that decision will belong to me. Binders, lunch boxes and daily schedules for everyone must be ironed out, gone over, clarified. Three different kids in three different schools. This hasn't happened since the days of preschool and even then, it was no big deal - as I was the mode of transportation for the little one. But now, it's riding the bus without a big brother. It's being at school all day, and I mean all day, none of this half-day kindergarten baloney that last year consisted of.
She'll be gone all day.
And so maybe that's why, instead of being inspired, excited and elated with the change of seasons like I normally am this time of year, I'm a little ambivalent. A little sad. And a whole lot not looking forward to my flock fleeing the nest, even though it's time. Even though I've heard enough "tap, tap spot back" 's from them and witnessed more adolescent insanity than ever before.
I keep telling myself it will be good to get back into the routine. I keep reminding myself that I can't freeze time or rewind the clock.
Hopefully soon I'll start to listen.