The Bachelor, Survivor, The Real Housewives, etc. have replaced slots in my television viewing repertoire that previously were held by good sitcoms like Friends and Beverly Hills 90210...the old version, which has been gone for a long, long time. I wish there were enough hours in the day to watch a disgusting amount of these shows and tackle all there is to be done, but alas, there is not.
So when I do find a little chunk of not yet spoken for by someone else me time, I want it to be good. I mean really good. Like, bathtub, bottle of wine and a really good book good.
I don't want it to be sprinkled with "mama's" and requests from the living room to come and play Guitar Hero.
I don't want it to be gazed upon by eyes that wish I were playing Barbie or painting ten colors of glitter on someone's finger nails (although there is a time and a place for all of those activities).
Oh no, I want my me time to be mind numbing, thoughtless, gluttonous, selfish and all mine.
So when I sat down to watch this week's episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker (click to see the video of her rant against redheads) on Bravo onDemand, I was floored.
Normally, I find solace and entertainment in watching the romantic follies of others unfold on the tv screen (read: I have put up with The Bachelor for each and every season it has existed) and usually, Patti Stanger is as much of a riot as are her outlandish "millionaires." But this week, I got more than I bargained for.
Call me sensitive, I don't care.
But her blanket statement of all redheads ("Every redhead is a pain in the ass...") made flames shoot from my eyeballs, and just about everywhere else you can imagine, according to Patti - apparently the world's foremost expert on redheads.
I've got news for you Ms. Stanger, you messed with the wrong bull. Or bulless, if you please.
Sure, that gal on your show was as crazy as they come, but she doesn't even come close to representing redheads as a SPECIES. About the only thing I have in common with that broad is that when you make me angry, you really make me angry (hence, this post). And when you offend my awesome, redheaded girlfriend tribe, you have gone too far.
Ours is a dwindling population and I failed to add an heir to the redhead population with my 3 children of blond, blond and brunette hair, but you will not stamp me out Patti.
The funny thing about being a redhead is that for my entire life, despite my own insecurities about my hair color, I've been given compliments on my hair color - even to the point of arguing with a woman as to which number of color I had used (sorry, 2 grandmas and mother nature honey). I've been called names, I've been teased, and I've been embarrassed by middle school bullies for the color of my hair. For the most part, I've gotten past it...now that I'm almost 37. But dammit, it takes only a few comments out of your mouth to tear holes in all those covered up wounds again and for that I don't think I can forgive you. Maybe you can bully your so-called clients and your employees, but you can't bully me.
And if that makes me a pain in the ass...than so be it.
Now excuse me, I have some Guitar Hero to go play.
Oh, and this one's for you:
Rock on, fellow redheads. Rock on.