Tuesday, March 31, 2009

One of Those Moms

It's official.

I've become one of those moms.

You know the ones. You overhear them in the supermarket, at the zoo, in the halls of the preschool or even the checkout line at Target. Yep, those moms.

They have a smallish (shall we just say around 5ish in age) child by their side, one who has been drug too many miles and made too many promises of rainbows and ponies and best day evers. One who is at the end of her age 5ish rope. One who would have been much better off if her mommy had just recognized that it was just not that important to try and squeeze that many errands into a 3 hour time span. One whose mother should have just made the decision to go home, pop some popcorn, and swing on the tire swing with her daughter instead of dragging her across the countryside.

It's a very slippery and precarious slope, that one.

So yes, you see those mommies dragging children around who are overtired, overstimulated and simply, o-v-e-r. And I'd be lying if I sat here and told you that I have never, ever witnessed a bribe handed over in a checkout line and not thought to myself, "Oh come on! Your child can see right through that!"

Yes, I'd be lying through my teeth.

And tonight, I became that mom.

The one who wields useless bribes to and fro like they are dots on the top of letter i's. Sprinkles on cupcakes. Freckles on cheeks. Stars in the sky...

I said, actually said OUTLOUD, "If you don't quiet down, you're never going to have another sleepover in your life." And then, for extra, super, extra drama (that's 2 "extras" - you know it had to have been good), I added, "EVER."

Oh yes, I did.

I'll take my twenty lashings now please.

And I will never judge again.

13 comments:

Keri said...

*raising hand*
i'm sadly in `that` club too... The "if your good in the grocery store... you can have a candy at the end".

But i'm proud that it's not a regular thing... yet...

gorillabuns said...

may i add the sentence? "stop crying or i'll give you something to cry about?" or how about "if you don't stop touching your sister, i'm going to stop the car and drop you off at the corner to live with the gypsies."

jennster said...

LMFAO! i just can't wait until they're old enough to really question... like when you say, "you're going to be in BIG trouble!!!" what if they freaking said, "what are you going to do?" or "how?" LOL

Jen said...

If there is a "Those Moms" club, I'd be the president.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I saw a hysterical scene yesterday at the store. A 3 year old wanted a toy and her mom said no. "This is so unfair, you're getting yourself something." Oh, is that mom in TROUBLE!

Kerrie said...

I've done this to an infant...and then tried to keep him awake during the car ride home.

musing said...

Yep, I've been there!

flutter said...

well, I for one, am breaking out the wet noodle.

Leanne said...

Been there. I've even pleaded, begged and bartered with the kid for five more minutes of good behaviour.

Lisa said...

Oh I so know who you're talking about. Cause that's me too!

Eh. We need to give them SOMETHING to complain about when they become adults, right?

Scattered Mom said...

"If you don't stop I'm going to flush your head in the toilet."

Then I picked him up and held him over the toilet for effect, while he squealed and then we both BURST out laughing. (I never did stick his head in, I just got dangerously close and then hit the lever so it flushed at the last second.) This was at home, by the way.

"Do it AGAIN! AGAIN!"

Ummm...ya. Then he told the kids at school. Try to explain THAT to the teachers.

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

The crazy things that spew out of my mouth when I have reached the end of my rope with the girls.

i totally understand.

Donata said...

heeheeheeheehee