Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mom Vent, Episode 1,000

Toothpaste in the sink.

It is the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I go to bed at night and the reason (oh, of this I am 100% sure) that I spend a lot of my time cleaning the bathroom.

Well, that and splatters on the mirror.

And towels that don't get hung up.

And pee on the seat.

Oh, there, I've gone and done it again - sorry for providing much too much information about what the kids bathroom looks like in my home on any given day.

But this toothpaste in the sink conundrum, it really is a mystery. You see, each of my children (lovely little cherubs) will deny that they have left that toothpaste in the sink until they are blue in the face. They will, just try and ask them.

I remember when my brother and I were little (oh those were the days), my mom would make us sit on a step until we fessed up about who had committed some kind of infraction. Granted, the infractions were a) usually something to do with me teasing the living you-know-what out of my brother until he smacked me for being so mean or b) involved me teasing the you-know-what out of my brother until...

Ah, you get the picture.

I know that whomever keeps spitting giant gobs of toothpaste in the sink is not really doing so intentionally.

At least I hope not.

But it does get irritating to have to remind and remind and remind again that toothpaste goes on your teeth. As in, in your mouth. And, the last time I checked, it was not handed out free on that certain tree which deposits dollar bills into your piggy bank. Right?

I'm incredibly, horribly, insanely jealous of my friend. She is moving into a new home in a few weeks and despite the fact that she will have AIR CONDITIONING and more beautiful hardwoods than I can shake a fist at, she also will have a sink for every child. Did you hear that?


Can you imagine? No longer will she have to play sleuth to who keeps leaving the bubble gum toothpaste in the sink. Her little sink spitters will be revealed, once and for all!

Either that, or they will clean up their act - both outcomes would suffice, in my book.

So yes, children of mine, listen up. If you don't clean up your act (pardon the pun) I'm going to have to dig out some old Tupperware with no matching lid (because I would not be American if I didn't have Tupperware with no matching lid in my pantry) and force you to use that for brushing your teeth. You can stand out in the yard by the hose with your bowls, each one of you, and do it old fashioned style.

And then we'll see who the messy one is, uh-huh.

Don't say I didn't warn you.


Queen of the Mayhem said...

Oh, how I feel your pain on this one! The toothpaste globs are nasty! Of son uses the entire bathroom as the toilet....oh yes, you read that correctly! The other day I caught him peeing in the trash can! UGH! He told me he was making it like a "spwinkler"! Nice.

kristi said...

My daughter does this and I hate it!!

kristi said...

My daughter does this and I hate it!!

Anonymous said...

Oh I feel you on this one. And don't get me started on the husband who doesn't rinse shaving cream out of his sink.

Jen said...

A sink for every child sounds heavenly. My kids are totally guilty of this and it drives me crazy!

Becc said...

A sink for every child: No Way! Then guess who will be busier cleaning! NO thank you!
My big one is my husband using the hand towel to wipe down the mirror and countertop after shaving. I hate that!

Anonymous said...

At what age do they start brushing their teeth on their own?

I'm still cleaning the gobs as I'm brushing his teeth now, and he's currently 5.


P.S. very amusing post - thank you!

Momisodes said...

OH! This drives me bonkers. What also sucks is when someone does their final spit into the sink, and doesn't rinse it.


I finally found out who the culprit was.

And it was the grown man child in the house doing it :(

carrie said...


Hang in there - my kids range from 12 - 5. And each one of them cannot grasp the concept of cleaning that sink out!

The older two did, however, have excellent dental check-ups a few weeks ago so they must be doing something right.

Jury is still out on the 5 year old, here check-up is next week!

carrie said...

I mean, "her" not "here."

Kellan said...

HA - the Tupperward/American thing - tooooo funny and so true!!! I have this same problem in my house - UGH!!! Mine won't confess either. It's nasty thing - this toothpaste thing!!

Cute post, Carrie - good luck with your messy spitters.


Liz said...

Ok, gotta you NOT have air conditioning? I guess living in east Texas where it was 80+ degrees today, the very idea throws me for a loop!

wyliekat said...

We made the mistake of buying that blue mouthwash for kids, the stuff intended to show them where they need to brush.

Apparently, my sink and counter are in dire need of brushing, or face imminent decay.

OHmommy said...

YOU are the best momma ever Carrie.

that is hysterical!