Monday, February 09, 2009

Do You Have a Daycare?

Saturday was rough.

I had told the kids I would make their favorite dinner, baked spaghetti smothered in cheese, and then I'd take them to see Hotel for Dogs. The least I could do was open a jar of spaghetti sauce, mix it with some noodles and ground beef, and cover it with cheese before sticking it in the oven long enough for the ooey gooey goodness to develop before taking them to the movies and feeding them buckets of buttered popcorn and liquid sugar (aka soda).

Apparently my little Lila, who has always rejected any unhealthy drink I've offered her, has become quite the soda connoisseur of late. I didn't want to disappoint, you know. Plus, the spaghetti is Braydon's most favorite thing that I make, and he and his sisters were here for the whole weekend.

I had to impress them.

But then, as often happens with all good plans, everything spiraled out of control.

Someone, and I'm not talking about the girls OR Braydon, hit someone. Then, someone hit that someone back. Chaos ensued. Battles were had and alliances were formed. In stomped 2 grumpy boys and their sidekick, both angry, both hurt, and both not willing to take responsibility for playing rough when I'd asked them not to.

And then, there was backtalk.

My biggest pet peeve and the worst possible thing you can do if you are one of my children and I happen to be disciplining you is backtalk. The worst.

Forget about that movie.

Boys were separated, girls didn't know the difference - as they were very involved in the Barbie collection in Katie's room, and Braydon and I decided to rustle up some of that spaghetti he was looking forward to.

The only problem with that was the spaghetti sauce fairy had forgotten to stop by and leave me some sauce! What? You don't have one of those? A spaghetti sauce fairy? Every busy mom simply must have one.

Thankfully, one can order pizza online in times like these.

[Hear the angels singing?]

Magically, the pizza delivery fairy came through, about 30 minutes later.

When I opened the door, with the help of my hungry and adorable little buddy Lila, the pizza delivery fairy said, "Oh, a little girl!"

Then Katie appeared out of nowhere and she said, "And another one!"

I told her, "There's another one over there," pointing at Ellie, who was rocking out to a little Guitar Hero, "And I have three boys around here somewhere."

She said, "Do you have a daycare or something?" Obviously shocked that someone would have six kids in their home all at the same time.

I know, shocking.

She must have missed the current news story about the woman who just gave birth to eight babies and already had six at home! I wonder what she would say if she were delivering pizzas to her house?

To further shock her, I said, "I may need to drug these kids to get them to go to sleep tonight," completely, utterly and definitely in a joking manner. I always make sure I am crystal clear when joking about these things, I would hate for someone to take it the wrong way.

She was having none of that.

I paid her for the pizza, wished her a good night and closed the door, sighing in relief that that conversation was over.

I did spend the rest of the evening a little worried that the police would come knocking on my door. You know, to check on the children I was going to drug to sleep.

And, I regretted giving that lady such a big tip. Even though, usually, I don't mind tipping the pizza delivery fairies. Maybe she'll put it to good use and buy herself a little sense of humor.

7 comments:

kristi said...

LOL...I feel that way too...some people need to invest in a sense of humor!

Grim Reality Girl said...

Amen to that! Just because I've mentioned taking Super Girl's leg off and clubbing her with it doesn't mean I'd REALLY do it.... um... hello? Take a joke already people!

Every Day Goddess said...

This is hilarious!! You would think in her line of work she would have a better sense of humor!!

The Coffee Lady said...

The Eldest Latte has a teacher like that. I say things to her, and she stares at me

wyliekat said...

I had to switch pizza places to avoid my last delivery fairy - he was creeeeeeeeeepy. Extremely creeeeeepy.

Btw - have I missed a backstory? Why did you have six children in your home?

carrie said...

Sorry Kat, I had six because I have three, and I had my best friend's three for the weekend!

It was like the Brady Bunch! :)

wyliekat said...

AH - lol. I thought there was some kind of previous marriage + three kids that somehow sprung up without my noticing!