Sunday, November 02, 2008

The Proper Care and Feeding of 10-Year-Old Boys

Step 1: Pile them all into two vehicles the day after Halloween, even though they were all probably up too late the night before trick-or-treating. Make sure you listen to all of their favorite music, you can even impress them with your knowledge of the lyrics to Rhianna's Disturbia. But please, make sure you keep both hands on the steering wheel at all times.

Step 2: Proceed to drive into The Big City for a meal at a historic hamburger joint.

Step 3: After ordering 7 Dick's Deluxe, 7 cheeseburgers, 11 french fries, 9 milkshakes, 2 sodas and a heaping serving of napkins, pop up the back of your vehicle and tailgate. Trust me, this will be so much fun and the 10-year-old boys will think you are the coolest parent on the planet. Bonus: no french fries in your car!

Step 4: Buy tickets to see The Dark Knight at the Imax theater. The 10-year-old boys love anything pertaining to Batman, so this will be especially exciting. Plus, it's loud in there - very loud - so the noise that 10-year-old boys usually emit will be hardly distinguishable from the action scenes on the screen in front of you.

Step 5: Don't forget to bring some of that Halloween candy to pass out during the movie! You don't want that lying around your house for very long, do you? I mean, after all, Thanksgiving (and pumpkin pie) is right around the corner. 10-year-old boys are more than happy to help you get rid of Halloween candy.

Step 6: Did I mention that this movie is 2 hours and 37 minutes long? Don't worry, 10-year-old boys won't even notice how long they've been sitting on their kiesters, as they will be so enthralled with what is happening in the movie. They will be almost completely quiet on the ride home from all that concentrating during the movie (going to a movie takes a lot out of a kid, you know). Double bonus!

Step 7: Upon arrival back at home, the 10-year-old boys will be so tired that only 3 of them will want the treats you've put aside for the birthday celebration. In fact, they will all be so tired that they will want to rush the gift opening so that they can all get to bed! Yes! You heard it right, they will all be too tired to eat more sweets and stay up all night. It's a win-win situation folks.

Step 8: Bacon.

Step 9: You did purchase 4 packages of bacon right? 10-year-old boys LOVE them some bacon and one boy in particular could have eaten an entire package alone, if I would have let him (note to self: buy Zach his own bacon for next time). In the morning 10-year-old boys will enjoy chowing down on pancakes and bacon. Someone will even dip their bacon in ketchup, try not to be too grossed out by that. They are, after all, 10-year-old boys.

Step 10: Designate a pick up time that works for you and then usher each one of those 10-year-old boys out your front door until every last one of them is gone.

Step 11: Sigh. It was a very good party, according to the 10-year-old boys.




I'd say this post definitely qualifys in the Blissful Kids category of the Blissfully Domestic Bloggy Carnival going on right now! Go, check it out and join in the fun!

25 comments:

Tracy said...

Leave it to my child to need to eat a whole package of bacon on his own! You could have made him some of your famous chili too .....he would have been very happy then! :0)

Keli said...

Funny! Loved this post! I have a 17 yr old boy and have been through several BOY parties! You cracked me up with this!

Mr Lady said...

I am NEVER letting my 10 year old read your blog. You're making me look REALLY bad over here!

Ann(ie) said...

You are seriously a COOL mom. And btw, that is usually Matt's and my typical order at Dick's, too. ;) Lawd I love that place!!!!

LindaJ said...

I'm glad to see my son could zip that stupid hood thing over his face for the picture.

You are so brave!!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It sounds like a most excellent birthday party!

mackey said...

Just wait until your doing this for teenage boys!!!!
Better double up on that bacon order! =0)

Kyla said...

Sounds like a home run to me!

Kimmylyn said...

This is what I get to look forward too huh??

Sounds like it was a BLAST and that you are possibly the coolest mom ever..

Every Day Goddess said...

WOW! You are an awesome Mom!! Dick's is Colton's favorite restaurant of all time also :)

Christy said...

You are a good mom! It sounds like I might've lucked out with having to fwwd girls though...less expensive, no? LOL

Mrs. G. said...

I hate to tell you this but even at thirteen, it's still all about bacon. And cereal by the box.

Cathy said...

Awesome. Sounds like fun, sort of.

Kellan said...

Great hints and tips - sounds like a great party to me!!! Loved #8 - HA! I love me some bacon too!

Have a good week, Carrie - see you soon - Kellan

Dan said...

You forgot Step 7a)

Remove all tools from the asylum lest they arise early and disassemble the electrical outlets.
(Like they did at my sons 10th birthday party - how they avoided electrocution I'll never know)

Thank you for voting. As they used to say when we lived in Chicago: vote early and often!

Lorie said...

My boy is not quite 10, but getting there quickly. I will have to remember these tips!

It sounds like they had fun!

Laura said...

I have girls, and so you would need to change the movie, but otherwise, sounds like girl-party heaven too.

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Oh wow. Guess I better keep this on hand. My son is 8. 10 will be here too soon! :-)

Fun tips!

wyliekat said...

I can't even contemplate large parties for large kids yet. CANNOT COMPUTE.

Jennifer A. said...

Change the bacon to Sausage and I just had a horrific vision of my life in 7 years.

Becc said...

Haven't visited for awhile.
Love your new look!

Lisa said...

You ARE the coolest mom ever! It sounds like the Carrie fan club would contain not only a bunch of bloggers, your fam and friends but a ton of 10-year-old boys!

Sounds like 10-year-old boys require alot of food. But they seem to make up for it in being very entertaining, interesting creatures.

Untypically Jia said...

LOL I just love number 8! It goes well for grown men too!

Amydeanne said...

lol good to know what i'm going to be into for a few years!

OKSufi said...

What is it about boys and bacon?!! I thought it was just my boy! His birthday is coming up in April. I'll start stocking up the freezer now!