Step 1: Pile them all into two vehicles the day after Halloween, even though they were all probably up too late the night before trick-or-treating. Make sure you listen to all of their favorite music, you can even impress them with your knowledge of the lyrics to Rhianna's Disturbia. But please, make sure you keep both hands on the steering wheel at all times.
Step 2: Proceed to drive into The Big City for a meal at a historic hamburger joint.
Step 3: After ordering 7 Dick's Deluxe, 7 cheeseburgers, 11 french fries, 9 milkshakes, 2 sodas and a heaping serving of napkins, pop up the back of your vehicle and tailgate. Trust me, this will be so much fun and the 10-year-old boys will think you are the coolest parent on the planet. Bonus: no french fries in your car!
Step 4: Buy tickets to see The Dark Knight at the Imax theater. The 10-year-old boys love anything pertaining to Batman, so this will be especially exciting. Plus, it's loud in there - very loud - so the noise that 10-year-old boys usually emit will be hardly distinguishable from the action scenes on the screen in front of you.
Step 5: Don't forget to bring some of that Halloween candy to pass out during the movie! You don't want that lying around your house for very long, do you? I mean, after all, Thanksgiving (and pumpkin pie) is right around the corner. 10-year-old boys are more than happy to help you get rid of Halloween candy.
Step 6: Did I mention that this movie is 2 hours and 37 minutes long? Don't worry, 10-year-old boys won't even notice how long they've been sitting on their kiesters, as they will be so enthralled with what is happening in the movie. They will be almost completely quiet on the ride home from all that concentrating during the movie (going to a movie takes a lot out of a kid, you know). Double bonus!
Step 7: Upon arrival back at home, the 10-year-old boys will be so tired that only 3 of them will want the treats you've put aside for the birthday celebration. In fact, they will all be so tired that they will want to rush the gift opening so that they can all get to bed! Yes! You heard it right, they will all be too tired to eat more sweets and stay up all night. It's a win-win situation folks.
Step 8: Bacon.
Step 9: You did purchase 4 packages of bacon right? 10-year-old boys LOVE them some bacon and one boy in particular could have eaten an entire package alone, if I would have let him (note to self: buy Zach his own bacon for next time). In the morning 10-year-old boys will enjoy chowing down on pancakes and bacon. Someone will even dip their bacon in ketchup, try not to be too grossed out by that. They are, after all, 10-year-old boys.
Step 10: Designate a pick up time that works for you and then usher each one of those 10-year-old boys out your front door until every last one of them is gone.
Step 11: Sigh. It was a very good party, according to the 10-year-old boys.
I'd say this post definitely qualifys in the Blissful Kids category of the Blissfully Domestic Bloggy Carnival going on right now! Go, check it out and join in the fun!