Thursday, August 21, 2008

To Croc or Not To Croc (A Little Rant About Clown Shoes)

Shoes were the last item on our back to school shopping list. I drug my sugared, caffeinated, over-shopped kids into the last and final shoe store at the outlet mall, fully intending to fail like we had in the previous stores where shoes were lying in aisles, nylon "footies" were lying in aisles, and even other children were lying in aisles.

"Enough!" I said as I pulled them away from all the Sketchers and lite-up shoes.

They were more than happy to oblige and we left the chaos behind as we lugged our brimming bags along the last stretch of storefronts before the parking lot.

There was, however, one last shoe store to see . . .

Knowing that we'd probably not find what we needed (it helps to keep my expectations as low as possible when shopping with kids, that way I am not disappointed), I pulled open the double doors and let my kids have at it. We were greeted with a welcome gust of air conditioning and the pleasant sight of not one misplaced shoe (or child) on the floor.

Boys with piercings and neckties (quite the combination!) scuttled about, bringing neatly stacked boxes of Vans and Etnes to customers who were neither harried nor frazzled looking.

I decided right there and then that even if we had no luck finding the boys their back to school dream shoes, we would spend as much time as possible in this store just because it was so aesthetically pleasing . . .

Until I turned around and saw the gigantic display of clown shoes taking up nearly 40% of the available floor space.

Yup.

Crocs.

Just the mere mention of the word is enough to put me over the edge. Love them or hate them, you cannot look me square in the face and tell me that they, in fact, do NOT resemble clown shoes. Come on, give it a try. Say to yourself, "Crocs don't look like clown shoes, Crocs do not look like clown shoes." Now see if you were able to keep a straight face.

See?

It's not that I don't see the value of a good pair of comfortable summertime shoes (says she who plods around in flip flops 8 months of the year), but Crocs? Really? Unless you are a medical professional who is on her feet all day saving lives, or a 2 year-old who has the inability to chose her own shoes and must rely on her parents awful taste, stay away from them!

Putting little decorations on them won't help either. They will still be . . . u-g-l-y no matter how many plastic adornments are shoved into those air holes.

When the clerk was ringing up our shoes (success!) I fondled the display of Croc cell phone holders next to the register and said, "I'll sure be happy when this trend is over with."

Fully expecting him to defend the merchandise his otherwise lovely store had placed in plain sight of all paying customers, I awaited his rebuttal.

"I know, they are hideous."

And I looked up at the wise 19 year-old young man with the pegged-leg jeans, the skinny neck tie, and the nose jewelry and I knew I'd met a kindred spirit. I didn't have the heart to tell him that way back in the day, we would've been friends (or at least he would've been a friend of my boyfriend).

For now, I was just happy to not be alone in my dislike for all things Croc, including the $15 cell phone holders. Seriously?

32 comments:

Every Day Goddess said...

I so AGREE they are UGLY!! Mariah had a pair that puppy Max chewed (1thing I wasn't sad he chewed!) and they are never going to be replaced!!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

ha ha, sorry not with you on this one. Well, OK, they are ugly, but I love my Crocs for gardening. And they are a Colorado company so I gotta represent!

Anonymous said...

I love you guys...you still are complaining about a shoe everyone agrees (including Crocs) is ugly but comfortable...have you looked at the styles they are offering today that look normal but use the same comfortable materials?

carrie said...

Gardening in Crocs = totally appropriate.

A night out on the town in Crocs = ridiculous.

Scout's Honor said...

The kids have'em. Honestly, I would never wear them, but they are perfect for swim practice and showering in places that keep giving...plantar warts and germs.

That said, PB broke her wrist the second time because she tripped over her crocs.

However, Crocs makes some flip flops that my 12 year old wears that I frequently borrow from him. Did I mention we wear the same size? Yep, and he's still growing. Anyway, the most comfy flip flops--ever! Ever!

And I have a special place in my heart for shoes that have straps so they are quick on, quick off for my 6 year old. since they are closed toed, he goes everywhere in the summer with them--even places that flip-flops wouldn't fly.

But ugly? Uh, yes. Unless they are bright pink with a gajillion charms and you are eight years old.

Supermom said...

HA HA!! I totally agree!!

Reminds me of the 80's and those hidious jellies we wore on our feet!!

Thankfully I was a child and didn't know any better!! lol

mamikaze said...

I hate Crocs and everything they stand for! they are ugly, bad for your feet overpriced and newly noted as dangerous on escalators.

flutter said...

crocs are wrong and should be burned.

sweatpantsmom said...

I saw some high-heeled Crocs somewhere on the web the other day. You might not want to Google that - it could push you right over the edge.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Okay....I am with you on the hideousness....but,seriously? They are unbelievably comfortable!

I have a pair of Crocs flip flops. All the comfort, slightly less of the ugly!

LindaJ said...

Don't get me started on the croc's cuz that will just lead me to rant about those ugly ass keen's.

I don't care that we live in the PNW and we are outdoor sort of folks...but , some of us have limits and some sort of fashion sense no matter how comfortable or versatile.

There I said it, "my name is Linda, and I hate croc's"

Kyla said...

We LOVE Crocs! BubTar lived in his all summer, KayTar can put hers on all by herself, and they are so easy (and comfy) to throw on and go pick up the kids from school.

But I know many people have hate for the Crocs. I'm cool with it. LOL.

painted maypole said...

i hate them, too! they make your feet look enormous. I did finally break down and get some cheap knock-offs for MQ because she REALLY wanted them, but I still cringe when she wears them.

Grim Reality Girl said...

Amen Carrie! You are preaching to the choir and I will bring harmony to your anti-croc song! Crocs as a fashion statement? What a croc! Comfort is fine, but the madness needs to stop! That lady that invented the croc decorations? Yeah, a multi millionaire. I'm happy for her, but I'm still not buying a pair until I start to a) garden or b) work in the ER. Neither are very likely any time soon.....

Also, Flutter -- would crocs really burn? I think they might melt... anyone ever put them in the microwave? Just curious.....

carrie said...

I say a Croc is a Croc, no matter how it is disguised! ;)

John Wahl said...

This older hippy cat I know wears 2 different color crocs but it's also with rainbow pnats and his Col. Sanders beard it kinda goes. I do have some Keens and love them. JW

Christy said...

He sounds like someone I probably would've had a crush on "back in the day." And do you want to know how much I hate that I have a reference called "back in the day?"

Team Botanical said...

Crocs are ugly, yet comfortable. This is why like pajama bottoms, they are meant to be worn within the privacy of one's home. No one else needs or wants to see that business.

Anonymous said...

oh, my. did any of your fellow bloggers see last week's Newsweek article on Crocs?

I'm with LJ..

My name is Jane, and I laugh at Crocs.

Thanks for not embarrassing me by allowing my grandchildren to buy them.

Now, about those cleats in the house.....

xxxooomom

Julie said...

I HATE THEM! They are U-L-G-Y they aint got no alibi they ugly! We do not have crocs and thankfully the princesses are not allowed to wear them at school and that solves that arguement/discussion with the MIL who wants to buy some for them.

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

I do have a pair that I use to take the dog out and I use them in the lake. They float so if you lose one it isn't too bad. Other than that I don't wear them. Now Chicken lives in her crocs. Giggles thinks they are of the devil and won't go anywhere near them.

wheelsonthebus said...

I tend to think they work in the under-ten set. Easy-on, easy-off. Grown-ups look a bit silly in them.

But you can run them through the dishwasher!

Mommy Schiff said...

I'm in the same boat as most the other commenters. I have a pair or "mary jane" style crocs for my 2year old but she really can't run very well in them. I really like Keen for her and they are way more stable than Crocs!

I tagged you for a meme on my blog...go check it out =)

jen said...

ugh. i know. i know. and we have a pair of them (bought by someone else)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Don't share this with June Cleaver Nirvana!

The Mrs. said...

Ick. we are not crocs fans in this house. I must say, not to be sexist but I find them especially odd on men.

We were at the exchange on base one day and my three year old saw a pair and asked for them (to his defense he'll ask for anything, he once wanted a pair of tweezers). I just kept walking and said "Daddy would die if you got those, real men dont wear crocs. Remember that." Harsh perhaps but why mince words. Well, right in front of me at the uniform counter was a cadet wearing a pair with his civies. He did not look amused but I was half tempted to tell him I was doing him a favor telling him the hard truth.

Sorry for the long winded comment I felt like it fit your post perfectly.

kcinnova said...

My 9yo has a pair of mock-crocs to wear when he is mucking about in the creek. And I can see the advantage to having them in Seattle: your feet might be wet but the rain would just pour right out!

Now I'm grinning and chanting, "Clown shoes! Clown shoes!"

(here via Dr. Cason)

Grey Street said...

I thing Crocs are the most hideous shoes on the planet. I'd rather have those fugly UGGS than Crocs.

Becky said...

i can not wait until crocs are a thing of the past. they are SO disgustingly ugly.

and hannah loves them LOL

Sarah said...

Oh Thank God! I found others who know the truth also. I hate Crocs. The only pair that we have in our home is the medical kind that my husband used to wear on trauma nights at the hospital. I absolutely refuse to even look at them for my kids and I have warned my mother if she ever wants to see her grandchildren again she can't ever buy them. Great big YUCK!

Jen said...

I starred this post in my reader to come back and comment on it and totally forgot about it. I'm so glad to read that I'm not alone in my disdain for Crocs. The only people they look good on are gardeners and nurses. That is it. There should be a ban on anyone else wearing them.

Jen said...

I starred this post in my reader to come back and comment on it and totally forgot about it. I'm so glad to read that I'm not alone in my disdain for Crocs. The only people they look good on are gardeners and nurses. That is it. There should be a ban on anyone else wearing them.