We've known for a while now that this week would be the foray into middle schooldom that we were dreading. They sent home a flier telling us about it back in March.
Monday started off okay. The entire 5th grade paired up with a 7th grade buddy for 2 hours. They attended class with their buddy and ate lunch with them. McRae came home wearing a t-shirt displaying his new-found allegiance with next year's school mascot, the bulldog, and a passion for the middle school cafeteria.
What, did you think I was going to say a passion for applied physics? Yeah, that's not until the 2nd semester of 6th grade.
When I asked him what the best thing about middle school was, he said, "Curly Fries!"
It's nice to know he's got his priorities straight.
Wednesday marked the beginning of the health unit covering "you know what."
I asked my son how it went, as casually as possible, and he saw right through my fake interest in his health studies.
"We learned about puberty today Mom."
"Nope. Other than I need to be washing my face at night, so I don't get zits!"
Now there's a word I haven't heard in a long time. Zits. People my age call them pimples, or acne, or what-the-heck-is-this-outbreak-on-my-chin-I'm-not-a-teenager!
I'm so glad the school district saw fit to cover this most important fact about adolescence with my son, since obviously I was failing him as a parent and dooming him to an acne-riddled youth and years of being called crater face.
Today was the second day of the health discussion and also the day that my son became a man.
Wait just a second. That wasn't in the parent materials we paid very close attention to (glanced at) and agreed to have taught to our first-born child by the oh so knowledgeable school staff. But indeed, that is apparently what was covered because today McRae came home from school and declared, "I'm a man now."
So I asked him to help me take out the garbage cans.
You know what?
He emptied all the trash, took both cans out to the curb and then collected the recycling and wheeled the giant green monster out as well. I didn't have to lift a finger.
If this is manhood, I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.
*Edited to add: The whole "man" declaration came after he was given a sample of Old Spice deodorant. Apparently the Speed Stick he's been using for the past year didn't make him a man.