Friday, April 11, 2008

Snack Mom

I thought I was over this. I thought with my obsessive and downright refusal to participate in any more Goody Bag hoo-ha that I would end the vicious cycle of having to compete with other parents in a group setting.

I was wrong, again.

Baseball season is upon us and this year we have a highly organized pair of parents in charge of the kids and all of us unruly, screaming parents who sit on the sidelines and pretend that they are the coaches. When I say that they are organized, I mean it.

I will not have to worry about planning a team party 2 days before the end of the season and trying to beg the other parents for the money for a coaches gift at the last minute. Oh no! Not I! This season I actually get to enjoy the game and hopefully gossip with my friends from our oh so comfortable chairs as the Dads umpire and prove their manliness while assisting the boys as their base coaches.

Our organized coach and his wife have assured us that we will have little to worry about, that is, except for snacks.

I know that snack has five letters, but it should have four.

When I was given the paperwork for the season on the first day of practice, the snack schedule was, of course, attached.

Because our last name starts with the letter B, I am usually expecting to be on the top of the list. Lo and behold, there we were, the parents required to provide the snack on game #2! Thankfully, there was an A person in front of us, so the pressure of bringing the very first snack of the season would be taken off my shoulders.

You all know how important little league snacks are, right?

So there we were, the first game was close to ending and I glanced over at the bench where the snack mom was setting up.

Since it was freezing cold and my other 2 monkeys were living it up in the car, watching the last inning from the other side of the windshield, I offered to help her hand out the snack.

"Sure," she says, "can you pass out the milk?"

"Milk . . . hmmmm . . . " I think, "that's going to go over really well with the kids." Little do I know that it is that super chocolaty, thick, organic kind that you get at Costco.

Then she whips out the mondo-sized bag of individual chips that I quit buying for the boys' lunches because I thought they should have something healthier than chips (like those 100-calorie packs).

Then (oh yes, there is more) she brings out three boxes of cupcakes, and I'm not talking about those small homemade kind like I gave to the kids that showed up for our last birthday party; I'm talking fancy, store-bought, sprinkled cupcakes. Enough for all the boys on the team, the siblings AND the parents. It's a cupcake-a-palooza!

And I am snack mom next.

I'm thinking hummus and carrot sticks.

And to drink?


Bring it.


Valarie said...

Oh how funny, I feel your pain. I always hated it when we had to bring drinks and stuff for after the game. Isn't that what the concession stand is for?

Becky said...

LOL omg do it. tell that bitch to bring it!

flutter said...

Oh HO bring it!!

Kimmylyn said...

I am SO NOT looking forward to mingling with those types of moms.. grrrrr.. and you should do just that... bring it..

LindaJ said...

I just want tp tell you that I had to be # 4 snack person for basketball, mom #1 & #2 are like me...they brought small 100% juice boxes, baby carrots, and a little bag of ritz/peanut butter #3, you know the mom before me, she brings Krispy Kream donuts, man sized Gatorades, and a full sized pack of bubble gum.. I just want you to know, I brought my intended healthy snack and not one kid complained.

POO POO to cupcake and donut mom!!!

sweatpantsmom said...

I remember the mom at my daughter's pre-school, who would bring cupcakes decorated with each kids name on it, and HOMEMADE POTATO CHIPS.

It was really hard to traipse in with my box of Krispy Kremes and juice boxes.

Shania said...

Luckily, piglet has a coach who provides snacks. Otherwise, on my day? Whatever cheerios I can find off the floor of the truck and the water fountain!

Beth said...

The kids will hate you but the other mothers will love you!

OHmommy said...

Oh, no she didn't!

I think I love you Carrie. LOL, I do.

We are beginning our first year of Tball and I have yet to receive the schedule but our last name is at the beginning of the alphabet too. Should I start planning now?


Cathy said...


This sounds frighteningly like what I've encountered in my daughter's preschool class. You mean it gets worse?!

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

I USED to be that mom. Then I had two more kids. The end.


Ann(ie) said...

These posts just freakin scare me about my future, girlie. But, by the time I'm on a snack list I'll be hitting menopause so I'll be more outspoken than I am now. Lord have mercy. ;)

Scout's Honor said...

Oh my hostess cupcakes! That is ridiculous. Having been team Mom for many years for various soccer games, I always emphacized a healthy snack. And nothing that large. Someone at one basketball game recently packed a brown bag lunch with pretzels, apples, a piece of candy, and a drink. Can we have fries with that was all I thought?

That said, I am guilty of being an overdoo-er. At my snack turn at basketball, I offered a display in a wicker basket with various chewy granola bars,both chewy and crunchy ones, nutrigrain bars and packages of peanut butter crackers. Then I had a large Crate and Barrel metal bucket filled with vitamin waters and "those" chocolate milks from Costco on ice.

Okay, I got several glares on the court from other snack moms from other teams. Kids were drawn to my baskets and buckets of goodies.

You see. I've had this problem for ages. I've even worked it into our school which was a 300 calorie rule.

Ah! Just wait until you get a kindergarten that takes turn bringing in snacks. Oh, the one-upmanship. I brought homemade peppermint brownies which were drizzled with white and dark chocolate and cut into holiday shapes--and were still warm.


I've also made my famous Starbucks pumpkin scone knock-offs, drizzled with TWO icings for kindergarten and our then pre-school co-op.

I've brought in three different types of mini-muffins--all homemade and little cups of frozen yogurt.

Can you tell I have a problem?

But my kids get so freakin' excited. Did I mention I am always the party mom in their classes? I just love parties (and party bags) and want to share my party-fo-shizzle with all the little ones of the world.

Yep, problem.

But, chips and cupcakes for a regular ol' snack in a supposedly heart-healthy setting is ridiculous. Fruit? Yes. One small homemade yumminess? Fab.

Almost ONE thousand calories in chips(400-500 in bigger bags), cupcakes(over 300--we can't serve them at our school), and chocolate milk (200) is wrong and someone should talk to the team mom to scale it back. You might as well huck out Happy Meals.

Anonymous said...

Gee... at the game I went to this morning, the snack mom brought store donuts, juice boxes, and orange smiles. No hummus. Made ME smile, after reading this blog.


Anonymous said...

oh, and by the way... the coaches & daddies loved the donuts.

There were oranges left over.


Michelle Smiles said...

Oh how I dread this kind of mommy competition when Sabrina gets older. The kids will all hate when it is my turn because I refuse to play the game.

Do - take what you want. The other parents will love you for it. Setting the bar that high (and that unhealthy) is just plain silly. By the last person's turn at snack the kids will be expecting 12" subs and soda.