Monday, February 04, 2008

All Signs Say "Mom Needs a Vacation!"

I should've known when I put the lid to my deodorant on my perfume bottle and the lid to my perfume on my deodorant, that today was not going to be my "best ever."

After clumsily navigating the morning, almost dumping the WRONG cereal into my daughter's bowl (oh, now that would be devastating!), I ventured back up to my bathroom to tackle the job which I had become fondly calling "de-tangling the frizzy mess that is my hair."

My hair. Oh, it gives me much grief. While I do enjoy keeping a large amount of it on my head (it differentiates me from the boys this way), I definitely have a love/hate relationship with my tresses.

And when the length gets to the point that I am having to gingerly work my way through the knots several times a day (sometimes borrowing my 4-year-old's No More Tangles), I know it is time for a change.

Normally I would look through magazines to find the cut I want, bring it to a salon and beg someone to try to get as close as possible to the look I am going for. This has happened with success roughly two times in my entire life. I will not even venture to explain the mullets I've ended up with when I've asked for "soft layers."

Naturally, I have developed an aversion to salons and just relied on the even cutting skills of my husband and/or 10-year-old son to give the back of my hair a quick trim while I handle the front.

I know, I know. This is not the way to go about these things. But motherhood, time constraints, budget constraints and the fact that my husband visits the "man salon" twice a month, leave me no choice. I'm easy that way. Easy Like Sunday Morning . . .

Until today - and this should serve as fair warning to anyone reading that pre-menstrual women with hair issues should NOT be left unsupervised with a pair of sharp, not toddler-sized, scissors.


I present to you, exhibit A:


My mom always told me of how she and her girlfriends would put their hair in ponytails and cut away, leaving them with the perfect layered hairstyle (they called it a "shag"). So that's what I did. I bundled up my hair in a ponytail and took one swipe with those sharp scissors. I examined the 3 inches I'd cut off and decided that wasn't enough, so I cut another 3 inches off. It's okay, I'm not eighteen, and Jon Bon Jovi doesn't care what my hair looks like, so what the heck?

I know, ridiculous. The front is even longer than the back, like this - exhibit B:


Which I thought would be no big deal, as I wasn't going anywhere today - no chance of having my hair judged by anyone else, right?

Wrong. As luck would have it, right in the middle of my "I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying home with my new hair cut" day, the phone rang. I looked at the caller id, it was the boys' school, I had to answer.

"Hi Mom," said a little voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi honey. Is everything okay?" I asked.

"I forgot my homework, can you bring it to me?"

Oh crap.

"Sure, I'll be there in half an hour."

I need a vacation - and a good salon.

29 comments:

flutter said...

YOu are so freakin cute.

Kellan said...

I could have written this story!!! Only, I don't have that beautiful red hair - good lord do you have the most beautiful hair!!! This was funny, but you are right, don't cut your own hair with baby scissors or when you are hormonal. I have done it too - not a good idea. And ... the phone is always going to ring. Funny post Carrie - you are so fun! See you later. Kellan

Beth said...

Your hair is gorgeous! You are brave to cut it yourself but I think it turned out great!!!

Alexandra's World said...

I love your hair! It's absolutely gorgeous! I don't think it looks bad, actually! haha! You're brave. I would NEVER try to cut my hair! I'm too scared to trim bangs!! I'm sure you'll get scolded when you go get it cut professionally! They have a way of knowing!!! :)

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

you have beautiful red hair!!!! jelouse!!!!

Valarie said...

I did try this once, and it didn't turn out bad. Yours doesn't look bad either. Now my sister on the other hand, I made her, let me try it on her. The problem is she has curly hair and it didn't turn out the same. She remembers the time as traumatic, I thought it looked pretty cool. :)

OHmommy said...

I am laughing out loud right now. I just got off the phone with MY salon and booked a mini vacation this Friday. Then I logged on to respond to my comments and stumbled on your awesome blog. Heehee... LOL. I guess we both need a haircut AND vacation away from three kiddos! LOL. I am still laughing!

Kyla said...

I'm so chicken with my hair. You get points just for taking the leap!

Tracey said...

HA! You're so brave. Get a hat...

Kelly said...

From the pictures it looks great! I often have to fight the urge to cut my bangs. It always looks so easy in the salon, but they never turn out right when I do it.

Smitty76 said...

Oh, you are SO brave! I could never cut my own hair...I would make it look horrible! Yours, on the other hand, looks very cute! :-)

Amy said...

Why did men's haircuts have to get so expensive! $35 every three weeks for my guy. It kills our budget. So like you, I make do. But I would never take scissors to my own tresses. I might have to forgo 2 months of brow waxes so I can save up enough money for a decent hair cut.

My Goodness said...

I've never cut anything but my bangs, when I had them. You are brave! Your hair is gorgeous...I also have redhair, but it's not thick and long like yours!

Texasbelle said...

oh man, at least you have long hair in general...evening it up (if you choose) will still leave you with plenty.

Mom said...

Ok. When we used to cut our shags, we did it in tandem. The trick was to first hold your head UPSIDE DOWN, then make the ponytail so it would fall right, then cut each other's. I guess it worked ok. Had my home-made shag when I met you father. You really made me lol, though.
xxxooomom

Sandy C. said...

First, your hair is lovely and you're gorgeous!

Second, ROFL at "man salon"!!! HAhahahahha :)

Third, can I come with on the vaca?

Kat said...

I'm LOLing at this, I just cut 8 inches off my hair last week. I actually bent over as if to touch my toes and cut it that way, and it turned out pretty good. I mean...nobody has laughed so far. =)
Thanks for the nice comment on my blog! Hanging in there!!

Nap Warden said...

Salon needed here!

Elizabeth...mommy...etc said...

you have amazing hair!!! it looks so thick, too. I've also heard of the ponytail thing but I've never tried it thus far. ;-/

come on over to my blog and sign up for a personalized novel giveaway...great for val's day!

*elizabeth

Left Coast Sister said...

Your hair is BEAUTIFUL! And it completely makes me laugh that your mom waited until you DID the ponytail trick to tell you the key part is to do it upside down! Too funny! This is far from a mullet, though, so wear it with pride.

jennifer said...

I've considered just shaving my head. It would just be easier. And why can't hair dressers figure out that layers don't mean "I want to leave here with a mullet?!"

By the way, I think your hair is very pretty. Please don't shave it off.

Mamacita Tina said...

I'm with Jennifer, I'd love to just shave it all off and not worry about it anymore.

You deserve a day to go get your hair cut!

Kimmylyn said...

You are hysterical!!! I have done this before so it had me in stitches!!

creative-type dad said...

It doesn't look bad.

I think Lionel Richie would approve.

Kristin said...

Maybe the trick is to have someone else cut the ponytail? But, it's not bad for self snipping and it's not a mullet...

Your color is gorgeous... no way does that come out of bottle!!

Anonymous said...

OK- just to set the record strait, I do go to the barber shop twice a month. I grew up in a family of finly tuned hair stylists (my grandmother, mother, aunt, moms friends) and was never given the haircut that I requested. When I became old enough to do so, I started going to the barber. And with the fortune of having a greatly receding hairline, coupled with being a firefighter I do like to keep whats left of the locks tidy. Love you honey!!

The Kept Woman said...

(shhhh, I don't see anything wrong with it...it's a bit shorter in the front which gives a nice frame to your face...cute!!!!!)

Cathy said...

I'm so jealous of that shiny, shiny hair that I can't see what you're complaining about!

dcrmom said...

You did NOT! OMG. Clunk. You might have to pick me up off the floor.

If I've learned anything over the years, it's that no matter how bad a salon haircut is, my intervention will NOT help matters. LOL!!