Day at the Museum Without Ben Stiller

You've seen "Night at the Museum," museums are supposed to be magical places for the young and the old. A place of great discovery and mystery unveiled, where myth becomes reality . . . or something like that.

Museums are for learning, for experiencing, for absorbing. They also aren't for the faint at heart.

They aren't places where you'd fancy hearing things like this:

"Stop picking your nose!"

"Don't wipe your boogies on that!"

"Put that cow's udder back where it belongs."

"If you toot that horn one more time . . ."

"Get back here!"

"Don't fall in the water!"

"If you don't come back down off that rock wall, you're in trouble!"

"Stop biting your sister!"

"No, we're not getting any treats today."

All these things were heard today at the museum - not said by me. I would never tell my children to put a cow's udders back where they belong.

Welcome, to the children's museum.

A completely different sort of museum entity that exists in it's very own universe with it's very own set of rules and regulations. Not to mention, learning curve. I just wish they handed out a list of behavior expectations for the parents who drag their kids here on holidays.

Because without the grumpy parents, it really is a great place to bring your kids.

For where else can you learn to fly a plane and simultaneously administer anesthetic to pretend animals?

It's all too tiring, I tell ya.