Wednesday, December 05, 2007


Brett and I were lucky enough to brave the snowy weather this past weekend to have a date, just he and I.

It's not often that we're able to steal away without kids and the weather wasn't about to hold us back. Besides, I'd bought our movie tickets on Fandango, and I wasn't going to let a little snow come between us and our already-paid-for movie!

We had both read the book "Into the Wild" several years ago and had been eager to see the film after reading about it's production and all the care and precision that Sean Penn had put into it, along with the family of Christopher McCandless.

It did not disappoint.

Except that there was no way to change the outcome.

But the one surprising thing that I took from the film was the realization that our children may not always be the cookie-cutter versions of ourselves that we imagine them to be when they are very young.

It is easy with a very young child to impose your ways, your tendencies and your attitudes. But as that child gets older, they become more them and in doing so, less you.

And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just something that happens and it's evidence is everywhere as my boys get older and our opinions clash a little bit more than they ever have before.

McRae, especially, is becoming his own person. He has his own views, which amaze me at times. He has his own way of looking at the world and of thinking, which scares me at times. He has his own way of doing things, which drives me crazy and also astonishes me at times.

It's not that he is entirely unlike me, but he, the beginning of the man that he will one day become, is such a foreign and unknown being that it takes my breath away at the same time it grabs my curiosity and awe.

I don't see my son wandering into the Alaskan wildness like Chris did, although I could picture his adventurous spirit leading him on some amazing expeditions. I don't see him relinquishing all material possessions and denouncing human relationships, although I do see his fierce independence and happiness with the "little things" taking him far in life.

He is turning into himself, and it is this self that is unique from his parents. It is this self that breaks boards in taekwondo and whirls his body high up in the air like an acrobat. Nothing like me. I sit in wonder of his talent, and I realize what a wonderful boy he is and what an amazing man he will one day be.

Despite what a klutz his mother is.


Kristin said...

I know what you means... sometimes, the people my kids are becoming surprise me... it's like, "Who are you?" And then I remember, they're them.

Kellan said...

My kids are so much like me and that is why we have decided that we butt heads so often. They are strong willed and independent in thought - they are going to make strong adults - I hope. I love to see who they are turning out to be - don't you? It is an amazing process to see how much they learn from us and yet how much they learn on their own. Nice post. See you soon, Kellan

Family Adventure said...

I do find it interesting that the kids are their own persons, under all those values that we as parents instill in them. Where does it come from -- this own persona? And how come each child is so uniquely his/her own? It is wonderful, amazing and awe-inspiring to watch.

I loved this post!


Cathy said...

Great post. Such a startling realization, but so true.

I've read that book several times and am eager to see the movie.

Kyla said...

This was beautifully true.

Becky said...

aw this was so sweet. he will be so amazing. i alraedy see how hannah is parts of us but still her own person. its hard to handle sometimes!

An Ordinary Mom said...

My husband and I rarely every go to movies anymore, but we will have to check this one out.

One of the toughest things in being a parent is learning to respect your child and to let them become the person they are supposed to become.

painted maypole said...

scary and exciting all at once