Friday, May 18, 2007

Take Good Care of Her

I am not one of those people who is fond of naming the inanimate objects that make my daily duties easier. As cutesy as it sounds to be driving down the road praising "Betsy" for not breaking down, or to applaud "Hernando" (the oven) for doing such a fabulous job on the souffle, it is just not my cup of tea.

That does not mean, however, that I love my appliances (or vehicles) any less than the next housewife. Quite the contrary.

There is one appliance that has sat atop my kitchen counter for a long while now. It has shared this space with the three sets of kid buns who have insisted upon "helping" me make anything from meatloaf to cookie dough. It has the power to mix up a mean whipped cream and a glossy meringue in a few seconds much better than I could on my own. It has patiently awaited being properly cleaned when life got a little too busy (have you ever looked at the underside of a stand mixer . . . go on, look - I dare you). It is the reason I am the official family cake baker (trust me, I am no Nigella - it's all the work of my lovely, my beautiful KitchenAid mixer).

So when my husband asked me if he could borrow this wonderful appliance for the Fire Department's Annual Pancake Breakfast and I wanted to cry at the thought, is it any surprise?

I love her (there I go, assigning gender to an appliance, at least it isn't a name!).

The thought of those firemen dumping eggs, buttermilk and flour by the pound into her gleaming bowl makes me cringe.

I won't be able to be there to supervise, I'll be at a baseball game cheering our youngest son on and crossing my fingers that he hits the ball.

I may feel better about his request if I were the one doing the mixing, not those greasy, sweaty (although hot) firemen.

I may feel better if those firemen provided me with a little peace of mind (in writing) like a promise to replace my beloved mixer if they, in any way, shape of form, damage her.

Call me uncharitable, call me crazy, but the thought of letting my mixer go tomorrow has me a little grumpy. Humph!


Kevin Charnas said...

You TOTALLY just pimped your mixer out to a bunch of HOT FIREMENZZZ, who are going to treat her all naughty!!! I think that officially your mixer is now a slut.

I can't believe that I'm jealous of a mixer.

kim said...

maybe kevin could go to watch your mixer for you ??
i do know how you feel though, one of my best friends has one and when we made cookies at Christmas we only got to add ingredients she was at the controls lol

im glad we found each other again .. i love your old college town! it is awesome here :) come visit!! bring the kids :)

Mauro C. said...

Hi there,

I would like to invite you, and your readers, to be part of my challenge.

I'm trying to post 1 Million Love Messages From All Around The World in my blog.

I hope that you can help to promote this challenge... and, of course, i'll be waiting for your message :)

Best Regards From Portugal

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I say, for every hour they use the hot fireman has to be photographed with his shirt off....

Just a thought! Well it makes ME feel better about lending your mixer! :)

LOVE the pic of your kids! They are so cute!

Lisa said...

You know... This makes me adore you all the more.

At Thanksgiving our white trash neighbors from hell borrowed our mixer. The woman returned it by saying, "Here's your mixer. Its broken." No "thanks". No "Sorry." Maybe YOU could explain to my husband why I was so pissed after that!

Anonymous said...

pretty new layout!! pretty!!!! me like!!!! :P

ps, I have a new book coming out soon. since you are one of the few who actually have my book I thought I would tell ya. lol. :P


yerdoingitwrong said...

um, yes. I'm with the Queen. It's really only fair. =)

mk said...

I completely understand!!!! I am that way with my carpet cleaner!

Bon said...

i'm half with Kevin, jealous of the mixer...purrrrr...but largely jealous of you just for having one. they're so freaking gorgeous, like little art objects on the kitchen counter.

hope she made it back safely. :)

jen said...

did it just survive? i agree w/ Kevin, you just gave her quite a thrill.

mom said...

omg. I feel that way about my COFFEE CUP! Had to bite my toungue when Helen used it at G'ma's party... I know some day it will break but it precedes your brother in my life... got it in Kodiak before he was born!

So, how is your "baby"? Hope it survived.

Sandra said...

I don't bake but am now totally covetting your mixer!!!

Just getting caught up on some loooooong overdue blog reading today ... I've missed you ... looks all spiffy and new here !

Grim Reality Girl said...

I am that way about my mixer too. I love that thing. I get it. You must own one to truly get it. If you do not have the kitchenaide mixer you can not know what you are missing. I am sorry for those who do not know.... glad the mixer made it home safe!

Anonymous said...

let's see...
my car is callie
my fridge is oscar (because he's green)
my external hard drive is lucy, because it's evil
noel is the garden nome
and every xmas tree is named....