Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Trust

Do you remember waking up (breathing) on September 12th hoping that it had all been a very bad dream? I do.

Do you remember going about your mundane routines (breathing) feeling guilty that you were able to do them? I do.

Do you remember turning on the television (breathing) and hoping and praying, although you never pray, that somehow there were more survivors? I do.

Do you remember holding your babies (breathing) like you would never let them go? I do.

School is supposed to be safe.

School is supposed to be safe.

School is supposed to be safe.

When I send my boys off to school each morning, it is with the highest level of trust that a human being can have. I trust the world that they will be safe.

I trust the drivers on the road not to run them over.

I trust the bus driver to be focused on her driving and get them the mere ½ mile to school.

I trust their teachers to be happy and ready to fill their minds up with only the most necessary and pertinent information and give them the tools to be successful learners.

I trust that if I let them buy lunch on a particular day, the food they will receive will be healthy, nutritious and free of dangerous bacteria.

I trust that the playground they play on at recess is safe and void of dangerous objects.

I trust that the other children are safe and void of dangerous objects.

I trust that school, itself, is safe and void of dangerous objects.

I know that this may not always be the case, but I have to trust that it is.

I have to believe that it is.

And I have to hope that it forever will be.

For if I do not, than how will I ever be able to trust again?

Or hope (breathe) again?

6 comments:

movin'mom said...

That was very moving!

You know I lost complete trust on that September 11th, I drove to the school picked up all of my kids and brought them home.

I do trust again. Actually I sent them back to school on September 12. Now I gotta figure out how I am going to be able to get myself to leave my sophomore son at a college in 2 years. That one is going ot be much harder.

Kevin Charnas said...

I know...I know...I'm right here with you, Carrie.

I know that guns don't kill people by themselves. But their very design is meant to kill. When? When? When is it going to be enough that makes us finally storm the gates of our nation and dispose of ALL WEAPONS. Forever. To not tolerate any weapons. Ever. Why can't we make it more difficult? Isn't life worth it?

mk said...

I could feel your emotions through that post!

We just have to keep trusting and hoping or we will fall apart - or at least I feel that way.

mom said...

Last night, Jonathan Lethman spoke in Seattle... he has a new word:
"insteadness". Referring to all of the media/and other distractions that keep us "busy".. instead of doing what needs to be done.. ie. how much time did we spend on OJ? Anna Nichole? Imus himself? the list goes on and on..

Here we are, again. Will we focus on the DVD that the news has posted... or on how to find a way to trust...to find leaders we can trust...media we can trust...
Ourselves?

Pardon me for rambling

Groovy Lady said...

Excellent post Carrie!

I find it very difficult to trust anything or anyone, where my children are concerned. These three young people make up every aspect of my life. My world would completely crumble around me if anything happened to any one of them. That thought alone makes blind faith trust extremely hard and something I wish I didn't have to do. But we all have to trust to a certain extent, or else we would never be able to let go enough in order for them to become the people they were born to be.

I think being a mom is the most precious gift any woman can receive.. and it's the scariest.

Lisa said...

I know what you mean. This has been haunting me too.