Little did I know that a super sercet subculture is popping up all over the country. It is a new breed of vacation people, a new way to unwind and destress and have all your primal needs met, that is, if you're a guy. That's right, the "Mancation".
Now, I would be a pot calling the kettle black if I said that I didn't understand the theory behind a guys-only weekend away. I am paticularly partial to a girls-only scrapbooking weekend anyplace, anytime (as long as the schedules and checkbook permit). You bring the tape runner, I am there. I also don't mind it if my husband steals a few days a year or so to indulge his secret Nascar fantasies with his buddies (better them than me, I say).
But this whole "mancation" phenomenon has got me wondering, what about a "momcation"?
According to Nightline, the "mancation" is really taking off. The Fairmont Hotel in Chicago is even tailoring a vacation "mancation" package just for the guys. Here is a look at a sample itinerary:
*Early morning rock climbing (you know to return to your caveman roots)
*Motorcycle riding lessons (you know, to remind yourself what risk-taking feels like)
*Lunch at a Sports Bar with a remote at each table (I can't imagine 4 men fighting for the remote, can you?)
*Afternoon nap (hmmmmmm . . .)
*Cocktail-making hour (what, where they learn to mix a rum & coke or 7 & 7?)
*Steak dinner (what "mancation" would be complete without the carnage of beef?)
*Big 'ol fattie cigar and a game of poker
"A throwback to manhood" described a thirty-something guy who was pretty gung-ho about the whole "mancation" idea (I think the cigar smoke was getting to his head).
Okay guys, you can have your "mancation", but what about the women you leave behind? I hereby declare that hotels, airlines and spas worldwide should begin catering to mommies. The "momcation" should be a word that rolls off our lips as easily as "pampers" or "bathtime". Moms everywhere need a tailor-made vacation that meets their every need, want and fantasy; a vacation touted as a "throwback to motherhood", if you will.
So here's my pitch. My "momcation" itinerary would look something like this:
*Lay in bed in 1,000 count sheets until your body feels like getting up (according to your own internal body clock, not your husband's or children's)
*Be served a healthy breakfast in bed
*Have a personal trainer (who looks like Brad Pitt, or Dave Matthews - sorry, this is MY fantasy) bust your butt so you can relax the rest of the day, guilt-free
*Shower in one of those 10 shower head parisian showers
*Sip your herbal tea while a professional does your hair and make-up
*Meet girlfriends (who all received the "momcation" treatment in their private rooms) for extravagant shopping
*Back in time for 2 hour massage
*Pre-dinner disco dancing lessons with all your friends and cocktails (hustle anyone?)
*7 course dinner prepared by famous celebrity chef
*Viewing of a first-run romantic comedy (preferably starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant) in a theater with no kids or cellphones
*Retire to your room to a drawn bubble bath, a cozy terry robe and back into those 1,000 thread-count sheets only to repeat again tomorrow (with, no "mommy, I need ____.")
Do you think I will be reading about this new trend in Travel magazine soon? Perhaps the travel channel will showcase it as the latest and fastest growing vacation trend to date.
"Momcation", here I come (in my dreams).